And I will go in to the altar of God: to God who giveth joy to my youth. Ps 42:4

2011-11-20T22:52:00.001+08:00

I do think I have cancer, a malignant one
The first scan I went for more than a year ago showed a well circumscribed mass, while the the funny stuff around were harmless cysts.
I was advised to do follow up scans in a year's time, and that would have been in Sept of this year but I decided to delay the scan since I was just getting on in a new phase of life -worklife.
I had suddenly decided to ask a trusty colleague of mine to help me do the scan when there were no patients about.
She did not give me a full scan but the scan showed that the mass had grown and it is no longer well-circumscribed. In fact, it seems that there is a part of it branching out, and breaching surrounding structures. She said the scan she did for me was not conclusive and that I should go for a proper scan and monitor the mass.
So, what do I know of such masses?
In school ( I attended a radiography course), I learnt that such and such a mass, when it breaches the circulatory systems, it would/ could possibly bring about other cancers like bone and brain cancer.
I thought about my peers, they have gone under the knife for other conditions and have a very strong persevering spirit, and that I could learn from them.
But then I complained to my Lord, that I am concerned that my dignity would be lost in the process of trying to fix this abnormal mass. After all, I am talking about having to bare the beauty that God gave me in my body to such and such a clinician if I had to undergo any procedure for this. Tears flowed, and more tears flowed.

But my Lord gave me to understand that dignity is not lost if I should be fully clothed in virtue.

Oh but blessed was I and blessed am I. I think I am in the best position a patient with an abnormal mass like mine could have. Considering that I am in radiology, it gives me a certain advantage. I do not have to feel estrangement in an unfamiliar setting. I know how unfamiliar settings can make me feel awkward. And I kind of know what to expect so I dont fall into the kind of shock that others would if they were to find out they had cancer. And most blessed a patient am I because God sort of prepares me, and puts my hope in His Cross. I do not know how to explain it but it was a sudden infusion of grace that I received when I was seated before a crucis, that put my mind and heart at peace, a knowing of how a trial like this links me to the Cross of Christ and the great joy which surpasses the pains. And my Beloved Lord always seems to prepare me for trials. I pray I shant be pagan in facing my trials if they come, and when they come, I must face my trials as a child of God, as God's darling little baby.

In te, Domine, speravi; non confundar in aeternum.

In Thee, O Lord, have I hoped; I shall not be confounded
forever.
O thou great mother of God! next to Jesus thou art my hope.
In thee, O Lady, have I hoped; I shall not be confounded forever.
- The Passion and the Death of Jesus Christ by St. Alphonsus Liguori.

2011-11-08T00:55:00.004+08:00

my poor friend.
my poor, poor friend.
its probably true that I cannot do much to help her.
and the only thing I can do for her and for others is to pray.

and then I start again, on how blessed I am.
my Lord has got everything to go well for me.
I read in some place, that such is the path when I choose to pursue the religious life, or at least journey towards it for that matter.
and that once a religious, the trials start to loom over your head as dark clouds loom heavily over towns before a big storm.

but I tend to have thoughts that my earthly life is almost done, that I should not be surprised if I got to return to my darling Lord soon. and then, it seems as though my time on earth has been lengthened although it could have been shorter. whatever the case, I hope that I would be as best prepared as possible. I want to weep for the many souls indifferent towards God. If at my death, I should be found weeping, I weep for the souls doomed to eternal damnation. I sometimes feel that I could be more indifferent to the souls in purgatory and not fret over them so much because they would still have a chance for paradise. But I still find it quite impossible to be contented wherewith those souls not being in paradise as yet. Ah, what a strain the condition of these souls put on my soul. I would want to rejoice at my passing, at the heavenly sight of the beatific vision. maybe I will be so enraptured that my thoughts are not about the terrible sorrow for other souls because they are not with God.

A great horror for me would be purgatory. I don't ever wanna wanna land up there, even for a minute amount of time. I say that even with the knowledge that I am most deserving of anything but heaven. But yea, purgatory has got to be a nono for me... I'll probably die of sadness there because being in purgatory probably means being away from God. How distressing that is! But because the Church Suffering is purgatory, and the Church is the Mystical Body of Christ, maybe, maybe being in purgatory doesn't equate to being totally apart from God... but in purgatory, no chance to partake of the Eucharistic Body of Christ... oh my mama, that is not desirable at all. so, remember this, look for the things in Heaven where Christ is. don't look for purgatory... if we aim so low, we might miss purgatory and end up in hell, oh horror of horrors, oh sorrow of sorrows!

The Passion and the Death of Jesus Christ

2011-10-28T01:12:00.001+08:00

2011-09-14T00:25:00.000+08:00

the persecutor comes like a thief in the night.

because it is night, I do not see the persecutor coming.

I can only listen; him whose voice I do not know must I not follow.

Him Whose voice I know in my heart must I follow.

there is no telling of the ways of the persecutor.

I only know that the ways of the persecutor are bad;

that he has come to rob and to plunder, to sow avarice and to destroy.

here is the voice of Him Who I must follow:

He says to me: Come now my lovely one, come.

a growing persecution that i must embrace.

I really appreciate the fact that this cross is hidden, the splinters from it that

cause me a lot of agony are not seen by passersby.

where can i run, I am like a fugitive.

2011-09-12T20:30:00.003+08:00

Hello hello there, my little blog. It has been quite a while since I've typed any post here.

Well, it goes like this in my life, and I tend to see that it is starting to go along this way more and more.

So, which way am I speaking of?

My life began in confusion, the feeling of being different from my peers. They lived by human affections and human respect and never seem to be bothered by their kind of living.
I too lived like them, in many ways, fussing over things that seemed to concern my well-being and own interests. But living as such, I didn't feel quite comfortable with the way things were. It seemed as though I could never be satisfied with human affections though I sought after them. The same went with my food and my lifestyle, I never felt comfortable with the seeking of nicer clothes or good food. I always felt as though movies, tv shows, hanging out with friends, were all a waste of time. Walking through a shopping centre to hanker after sales items brings about a certain emptiness that is so harrowing that it tires me out and makes me unhappy when I leave the place, it is a terrible sense of being displaced, and dissatisfied with myself.

I still feel alien to the world after so many years (23 calendar years). I could never do the things others do and feel comfortable. However, I have found much joy in seeking my Lord. We meet everyday in Holy Communion. And so I often say to my Lord, that the best times in my life were those that I spent with Him. And that pleases Him, Whom I love, very much.

And now, I don't know why I still seek other things. I still imagine it to be nice if I were going out with so-and-so nice doctor. I am flattered by the attention I get from eligible men. When deep down within myself, I know that I will never enjoy their company. Yet I imagine that I would if I were with them. I imagine I could fall in love with one and be happy. But in truth, I know that my heart can never be given to one such guy. So, I find that my imgination lies a lot to me; it is not truthful.

Why then do i still cleave to my imaginings. These awful things draw me away from Truth. They put my hope in things that I should not hope in. Like I said, it is all very flattering that many doctors in the department show me attention. Poor me, falling for such flattery. I often look in the mirror and see a very pretty person looking back. But this beauty is not to be used in ways other than what God wants. So, what good purpose are my good appearances ordained for?
It often slaps me in the face as the reason for the little departures of my heart from God's.

How I love God! But I find myself seeking what is not of God and that makes me sad.

2011-07-03T19:23:00.002+08:00

O Lord, what can I do to be holy.
To be holy as you are Holy.
To be perfect just as You are Perfect.

I have only known myself to be condescending, unloving, impatient, greedy, unkind.

When can I enter and see Your face, again?

Can I whisper our love to the world?

It seems, my whispers are as whimpers to the ears of wordly man.

I thought to myself, I could have a plan of life, a plan of life which would allow me to be holy.
Yet, I can't even be obedient to You, such arrogance on my part.

My whims, my fancies. Why do these things still appeal to me.

My heart of ready O God, my heart is ready.
When can I enter and see the face of God?

When can I drop everything so that I can run after You?
Your footsteps seem to disappear along the path.
Why, it is the path that leads to the Carmel!
That turning along the path, I cannot see it clearly enough.
With the turning, I cannot tell it leads to the Carmel.
But I know that that is the path leading to the Carmel!
You seemed to have gone by that way.
Its almost as though I saw your shadow.
It seems to me too, that there is but one path that I have.
There really is no other path.

How shall I trod along this path of my life?
Should I run? Should I stroll?
I feel like running, so I may reach the end of the path sooner.

2011-04-03T01:38:00.002+08:00

Mortal Flesh and Blood Vs Grace of God (The Holy Spirit in us)

The Sacred Humanity of Jesus Christ & The Holy Eucharist.

Its a constant struggle I have here.

Between austerity and what people deem as normal living.

At some point in life, I say to myself, "Indeed, I see the world holds nothing for me. I shall pick myself up, and walk down the wonderful path of dedicating my whole self to God."

In a matter of an hour or two after that, I say to myself, "I should think I need a bag like this although I already have a bag like that. I think it looks good. It should come in handy Why, it has many pockets and it is very functional."

And so I ask myself, where is the safety net, if there is one to prevent me from falling back to the callings of mortal flesh? And what is my safety net. I wish I could identify it and have it permanently in place, in my life. That would save me a lot of trouble having to go through another tug-of-war of thoughts between that fof the mortal flesh, and that of the Spirit.

I have been reading about the Agony of Jesus in the Garden of Olives in several places. These constantly bring me back to where I find myself, struggling. I examine myself against the temptations of my King who was besieged with great terror according to St. Pio and Anne Catherine Emmerich, both mystics, both bearing the marks of Christ's Holy Stigmata.

I found, that in His Divinity and True Humanity, Christ was assailed more greatly than anyone of us. He was tempted. That His Divinity was not a privilege that allowed Him greater grace to follow God's Will. The Sacred Humanity of Christ, in its profoundness, gives me hope. Because of the way that my Lord resisted temptation. That He, in Greatest Purity, was inflicted as such; that He bore the Filth that was never His. Filth that came from the sins of the whole human race.

The Sacred Humanity of my Jesus gives me great hope. It encourages me and spurs me on. It tells me that I have to struggle. That this tug-of-war between the promptings of my mortal flesh and the promptings of the Holy Spirit must be endured. That my Beloved bore it with perfect resignation to Abba's Will. How my Beloved Jesus bore His Sacred Humanity, that is what inspires me. It is His life of Earth as a Man that inspires me, that draws me deeper into Faith. His Love for me is most visible in the wounds He suffered for me.

St. Bernard said, "The secrets of his heart are revealed in he wounds of his body."

"Behold how, by these wounds, he proves to thee the love of his enamoured heart." ~ St. Alphosus Liguori

What is this Sacred Humanity of my Dear Jesus which speaks of Love, and the battles of Christian living?

What has the Sacred Humanity of Christ done to me?! It has worked miracles. The miracle of increasing my Love for Him. The miracle of increasing my Faith in Him. The miracle of giving me Courage to follow Him.

"It is a great thing for us, while we live as human beings, to have before us Christ's humanity."~ St. Teresa of Avila

"I started again to love the most Sacred Humanity. Prayer began to take shape as an edifice that now had a foundation." ~St. Teresa of Avila

Oh my Christ, how do I emulate the goodness of Your Sacred Humanity?

My Child! Here's the answer. It is in my Body which you receive in the Most Holy Eucharist!

"And every time we receive the Eucharist, we receive this glorified, divinized, empowered humanity of Jesus Christ, the perfect manifestation of the Son's love for the father. Only with this massive infusion of grace can we undergo the change required before we enter the life of the Trinity.The Eucharist changes us. Now we're able to do all the same things we'd done before- but making them divine in Christ: making our every gesture thought, and feeling an expression of love for the father, an action of the Son within us." ~ Scott Hahn, The Lamb's Supper.

Books on the Agony of Jesus, His Passion, and His Death.

A book on the Eucharist and Sacred Humanity.

**Frequent reception of the Most Holy Eucharist is recommended on a daily basis for baptised Catholics, in communion with the Church, in a state of grace.

2011-03-23T19:11:00.003+08:00

Updating my blog after such a long break, I bet most of the readers of this blog
would have by now abandoned all thoughts of checking for new posts.

Anyway, I'm starting work in a week's time. A new phase in life.
I should think there would be a lot of testing...

Anyway, I get to continue as a lector in my Parish, but I'll have to cut back
and be rostered for only one weekend reading per month, so as to minimise
an possible disruptions stemming from a last minute change of shifts of working
hours at the hospital. My webstore is opening (Official Opening Date) this Friday,
25th Mar, Feast of the Annunciation.
www.mystica-rosa.webs.com

There'll be chapel veils (mantillas) on sale, Catholic cards and a few books. (for now)
my suggestion is... black matillas for Maundy Thursday and Good Friday.
white Mantillas for Easter Sunday! I'm going to under price a lot of the items
so get them while stocks last!

Do drop a message if you'd like a free copy of the Legion of Mary magazine
called the Maria Legionis,
courtesy of the Legion of Mary, Singapore Senatus.

And before I conclude... Here's A BIG DEO GRATIAS to my KING, JESUS CHRIST!
On the Feast of St. Deogratias, I got to say a big Deo gratias! Haha...
Cos my GPA, my final GPA is good enough for me to qualify for the degree program at
London South Bank University. Thats good news because I was convinced that I messed
up one module, I thought I had messed up the final paper for that module. Turns out I got a B grade for that...not so bad =P

And now, readers of my blog... since its Lent, please pray for me.

2011-02-03T18:38:00.003+08:00

Post-cny
Officially, I have only 3 more days in school... then its a long break!
Until end March... that's when I start work.

Here are some of the things that am I gonna do during this nice break:

-Set up my online shop properly. Its name is Mystica Rosa, in honour of Mommy.
-Hand sew mantillas. I've already bought the pretty pretty lace!
-Attempt to learn the Canon in D on the keyboard again from where I left off.
-Go to M'sia for a retreat by the Opus Dei :D
-Meet up with Nicky
-Meet up with Sheryl and Junita
-Meetup with more friends...
-Prepare my brains for work life by reading up on stuff and old notes.
-Go for many long runs
-Clean up my room (I mean throw out all the unnecessary stuff from school!)
-Make some handicraft (statues, maybe... rosaries... paintings... what else?)
-Pray more, hopefully, pray well too.
-Sing more, hopefully, can sing better too. =P
-Prepare my wardrobe for work life
-Cook many meals at home. I'm starting to hate eating out... the food outside tastes so yucky... so much oil, salt, and whatnot. really getting sick of eating out. and my mom doesn't cook... she probably cooks only as often as three times in a whole year?!!

Happy days are days when you take time off for God.

2011-01-23T00:45:00.002+08:00

Last 3 weeks in school.
Last two months till I start work.
Last two months till I leave the Legion, Jr Curia.
Last two months till I leave Lectors ministry.
Am I to cry or what?
This is what starting work does to your life.
Especially so when you know your work involves rotating shifts, and moving
from one department to the next.
I wonder, how am I going to adjust my prayer life.
May I slip to the ladies every time I need to say Lauds and Vespers? =P
What if I miss Mass! boohoohoo. :{
I want to opt for OT.
Cos OT... got breaks in between cases, once in a while.
I'll get to say my prayers during those breaks! :D
Then after work, if fatigue doesn't kill me, it would cause me
to doze off during prayers. :(
I know how excellent I am as a sleeper.
I can sleep just about anywhere and anytime.

Touched by anxiety!!

But I thank my Lord for all my good years of school and youth.
All was good indeed!
I think I have zero regrets. :)

2010-12-29T15:44:00.003+08:00

If I should want to make any progress,
I ought to remove all hindrances.
And that includes myself.

For I have never known a greater hindrance to the desires of my heart, other than my ownself.
Its a paradox I think, because man is complicated.
But in thinking himself simple, he goes to entertain maybe just the simple, and complicates himself in the process of entertaining.

How can man be truly simple?
I think man can truly be simple only when he entertains not.
Oh, but man, he must entertain, for all that has breath entertains.

Let us make the process simple, since we entertain anyway.
We have ourselves entertain only Him Who is Divine.
And we allow ourselves to be entertained only by Him Who is Divine.
And now we may taste the sweetness of entertainment!

When man entertains any other than the Divine, all sweetness of entertainment is lost.

2010-12-05T21:02:00.002+08:00

There I was, in that garden of love.
An espoused lady spoke to me.
Her words embraced with a serene smile.
The words meant something, but I wasn't sure what they were supposed to mean.

Funny as it was, I only smiled at what was said when I started on my way back.
Somehow, what was said seemed sweet.
That's probably why I smiled.

2010-12-04T01:01:00.001+08:00

boohoohoo.
tears of happiness.
i can finally play a piece on the keyboard with both hands coordinated.

2010-12-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

One of my all-time favourites :)

2010-11-18T10:06:00.003+08:00

I am officially pissed off with my fyp group mates.
Because they do things, and do not keep the rest updated and assume that
we know what is going on. And then they make stupid claims that I was
the one who requested for a particular thing when there was no communication
between us whatsoever for that matter.
Why are they dragging the stupid FYP?
Why aren't they getting down to doing things right away?
Even the stupid process of product testing. Why are they so tardy about it?
Is the stupid Harry Porter movie of more importance to them than the FYP which
has got to meet deadlines?
I seriously am damn frustrated with these people.
Even the fixing of the stupid sponge. why is it taking so long
just to cover a sponge with upholstry?!
It was supposed to be easy and straightforward, but what is this mess of tardy attitudes?!
PISSED OFF LIKE SHIT!

2010-11-06T23:16:00.001+08:00

Just found this on youtube. Its dumbfounding!

Christus Vincit! Christus Regnat! Christus Imperat!

2010-11-06T22:08:00.004+08:00

I like how yesterday went.
Morning Mass followed by the holy rosary, went home to grab some breakfast
and headed down to southern Singapore.
I was initially apprehensive about the list of things I wanted to discuss about.
But a lovely little meeting that was.
Thanks for addressing me as such.
I feel that it is getting through, yea, I'm coming through.
Let us go in; the fog is rising.
No, let me go in; the fog is rising for me.
Thanks for the Saturday invite too. That sure was assuring.
So, I rest assured for now... I've done what I can so far and
it seems to be alright. Thank You Abba for making the whole thing so smooth. :)
I'm glad that I discussed the whole list of things that I had prepared.
And the short meeting ended (maybe it wasn't that short), I joined them for
midday prayer. And I just had to wait a little before it was noon, Angelus time.

After Angelus, I took a trip back to Toa Payoh.
Lunched on my favourite saba fish from the foodcourt at the HDB building basement.
Then I went off to Risen Christ for a short practice session on the Church organ. :)
*psst* I have a new fetish for keyboard music.
Actually, its not new. Its just an old fetish that has been sticking around but I never acted upon it seriously;
I've always liked keyboard music. The real keyboard, piano, organ kind of sounds.
Am not in favour of those new, techno, robotic sounding kind of keyboard music.
After the session on the organ, I did my mental prayer downstairs. :)

Then I went home, read the newspapers and felt a little sleepy...
So I went to my room, plonked myself down on the floor (which is very clean cos I clean my room practically everyday), and fell into a deep sleep.
I only woke up before my mom came home with dinner. wow.

And then, when I logged on to my computer later in the evening, I found that I had won the bid for a 61 key keyboard on ebay. its only $130 for a Casio keyboard, AC-adaptor, stand, sustainer, and keyboard bag. Cheap right? I don't mind that it is second hand. The first owner hardly touched the keyboard anyway, at least thats what she claimed. The keyboard was initially going for 150 but I decided to bargain for 130.

Yay X). An 88 key digital piano would be nice... but there is not enough space in my house for such a long keyboard. 61 keys... 5-octave, should be sufficient for me.

But I really like how I spent my morning and afternoon of Deepavali. :)
Deo gratias!

Today went great too.
I like Saturdays. Its a day that is always filled with Catholic activities.
Always either the Legion, or the Opus Dei, and now, I have something to add to my Saturdays :)
Anyway, I might have to go to the Opus Dei centre less often on Saturdays now.
But, I can still go there on Thursday evenings if need be.
It just means that I'll get to hang out less with my 'Toa Payoh-Bishan GRC' friends.
Less chances to eat at Superdog with Wei Lian... :(

Yea, my Saturdays are fun days. :D

My every day is a happy day.
Because God fills me with His LOVE. muacks! ;P
I love my Abba. And my Abba Loves me too!

2010-09-11T22:30:00.003+08:00

There is a silence within me that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know why I call it silence anyway.
I have begun to develop a new habit of sitting on the cool floor
in the silence and darkness of my little room.
It is somewhat like a thought factory.
I find it a charming activity.

----------------------------------

I never really had health issues in the past.
But now, I'm starting to wonder.
My mind runs wild, sometimes. I haven't found a clinic yet
but I do hope to find a good one that doesn't hurt my pocket.
Hunting for a good clinic.
Anyway, I'm sure the whole process is a lot simpler than what I expect.
Please just don't cut me up.
I used to hate needles big time.
But now I think needles are alright, better than having myself be cut to bits.
I appreciate my body being in one piece.
Thank you very much.
Is 22 much too young for this?
I do not think I fear death.
Haha. You see, my mind runs wild!

What about my sponsor hospital, poor who?
Is it poor me? Poor them? Or poor neither party?

----------------------------------

I have found a garden of beauty, enclosed it is.
Yes, its in Singapore.
I am so drawn to that enclosed garden of Love where I may contemplate
Love.
----------------------------------

I grow curious about people.
How I love to watch people, but how I hate the science of studying them.
I make my own observations, and these need not be categorised or named.
I love watching people, it is just so interesting.
Yet, I ought to feel sorry for so many people.
They look so lost and confused I feel sorry for them.
They could be happy, for real.
They could be so much more, for real.
What an enormous pity.

Economical sense, it is a resource so rich yet so undiscovered.
Social sense, what a playground of interaction it would be if only
these people were removed from their casts of plaster-of-Paris;
What friendships could be forged!
Emotional sense, no more silly, 'being suspicious of one another'
kind of rubbish.

Reality check, its not gonna happen in this kingdom.
Reality check, that's what the Kingdom of Heaven is like. Sweet right?!
Love makes it better, Love makes us real.

sidetrack 1... (its not the first sidetrack, but its the first that i mention of in this post =P)
Just a thought... people seem to marry people they meet at masquerade parties,
people who don't take their masks off and wear them even when they have left the party.
funny huh?! perhaps, I should say "scary huh?!"

-------------------------------

sidetrack 2...
I miss my friends from my previous schools.
Could we meet up soon? The big gatherings sort of thing?
Hello?

2010-09-09T13:45:00.002+08:00

I realised why I enjoy watching vocation videos of monks and nuns in cloister.
Its because I am in need of them.
Its because I think too highly of myself.
Watching such videos calls to mind the need for humility,
and the beauty of forgetting oneself.
It calls to mind the great beauty of total abandonment of one's
will for God's glory, and for the good of mankind.
It reminds me of how far removed I am from spiritual perfection,
and that I should learn to keep my focus on God.
I feel challenged to seek perfection in Christian life.
The lives of these monks and nuns in cloister inspire me so much to be...
a person after God's own heart.

2010-08-31T20:44:00.006+08:00

Some Take-home observations from the Patrician meeting at NUS
----------------------------------------------------------

I don't know why, but I always feel confused about things.
Even so, I find myself filled with a strange sense of assurance
that I am trekking the right path in life.
There is this certain sense of peace about it.
Even though I sometimes cannot explain my actions or the things
that happen, I am glad that these things do happen because
they happen for a good reason.
Though I find matters of the world overwhelming,
I still stand without being overwhelmed by them.
And things happen for a good reason.
Crazy situations are there for our growing.
Some things are most incomprehensible, there seem
to be so many faces to a single issue and we
often do not feel competent in tackling anything of this
sort without questioning ourselves, our motives, our intellect,
our moral stance. Then we remember... that
perhaps, complicated things do not necessarily need
to be handled in a complicated manner.
We could simply take a step aside, to allow
God to take His place. Where miracles are needed,
we should not try to act as though we are divine but
learn to step aside, and 'Let God be God'.

Now I know why I always feel confused about things,
big or small.
Because I truly am so small.
Thats me, baby Clare.
And Baby Clare gets all the assurance she needs, even
more than that from Abba Dearest.
So, what kind of growing do crazy situations bring about in
us?
It brings about a growing in faith, learning to lean on God
and not on oneself.

Even if some may pass off as intellectuals,
the Wisdom of God is the folly of man.
In pride, man cannot see things the way God does.
Man tries to argue about many things without
bothering to look through the looking-glass of Faith.
They may think they are doing so, but in actual fact,
they aren't.
We live in a world where we only seem to think about
the things that are visible. We find solutions to things
based on what we see. We forget the realm of the unseen,
the realm of angels, and saints, and demons.
Skeptics demand proof about this realm, they think it
derived from fanciful imaginations.
Believers, accustomed to
secularism, acquaint themselves only with knowledge
of what they see.

You see my friend... there is more than what you think you see.

So Believers, acquaint yourselves with useful knowledge.
This knowledge, they call it Spiritual Combat.
I believe, I do believe strongly, that the more tactical
approach to things in life sometimes (more often that not) requires us to have
knowledge of Spiritual Combat.
Since we know there are two facets and not one facet to this rock, we should
approach it differently.

(P.s. God can work miracles even though we do not step aside.
If we were to call to mind the fact that we are mere dust and ashes,
we would know that our very existence is in itself a great miracle.
but in our folly, as we act, and when things fall into place beautifully,
we think that it was our greatness and wit that commanded the successes.
but no, of ourselves, we are capable of nothing. Remember love, that you are dust.
From dust you came and unto dust you shall return.)

God, Who is the I Am, ordered all things vastest.

2010-08-28T14:53:00.004+08:00

Today, I learnt some things.
Even with my fighting with a runny right nostril,
my mind was still clear, my perception sufficiently unclouded.

Lesson 1: Clothes

Men, wherever they are, whatever they do,
they are still men.
They may come in neckties, cassocks, t-shirts, slinglets...
But they still the same.
Clothes do not hide human nature.
Neither do clothes change human nature.

Unless they die to themselves, take up their cross and follow Christ,
their efforts to pass off as gentlemen, cultured and refined, will all fail.

Lesson 2: Conduct

Men may hide behind stringent rules as how to conduct themselves.
The fact remains, they are still susceptible to their own passions and desires.
The rules may be there to help them... but men being men,
unless again, they die to themselves, take up their cross and follow Christ,
their efforts are in vain. Their good desires would mean nothing if they
do not desire with all their heart and exercise that good desire with all their
might to forget themselves for the sake of Christ.

Statement 1: Clare will never get married to a mortal man.

Men will just exasperate Clare to death.
What about the Son of Man? Yes. He's my only reason for living.
So guys, please don't bother trying to ask me out...
Quit trying to text me...
Quit leaving me FB messages...
Just quit, and give me some peace.
I am plainly uninterested in all of you, bothersome guys.

Statement 2: Clare can understand that guys do wish they could be good

Don't worry, I don't hate men.
Neither do I find them that desirable.
I don't blame guys for acting like morons.
I am learning here how to accept men for who they are.
But yes, I will never marry a single one of them, mortal man.

2010-08-18T08:21:00.007+08:00

YOG YOG (lets pronounce it as YORG!)
Catch the YOG, Singapore 2010!

SGD10 for preliminaries
SGD15 for Semi-Final/ Quarter-Finals
SGD30 for Finals

Everyone, LET'S YOG!

Lets see, I met 2 Aussie men, 1 French Girl, an American Family, and 2 guys from Cameroon,
and many Singaporeans and so on.
International man!!
And I stood with one of the Cameroon guys for a photo!
Got caught in the rain with the American Family.
And... walked around Toa Payoh till my legs were at breaking point.
Rarr!

Just wish there were Mass for the YOG people in their village.
So poor thing lor... Singapore promotes religious harmony
yet there is no Mass to cater to the Catholics at YOG. No other
religious ceremonies there to cater to other religions too. Sianz.
such a let down man... Pooey!

2010-08-08T11:25:00.040+08:00

How is it that my faeces is green in colour?
I feel like a bird with diarrhoea, 'cept that I'm neither
a bird nor have I diarrhoea now. (cos i know birds
are capable of having green droppings)

Too much bilirubin?
Can't be. If thats the case, I would be jaundiced.
Bile duct leakage or and cholidocho-colonic fistula?
Cholangio-colonic fistula?
Possible, if this observation goes on...

Maybe its because I ate too much spinach quiche.
I baked quiche right after my last paper on friday!
And then momma said on sat, that she didn't think
I could keep quiche that long... so i finished maybe
some 300grams of quiche within a span of 2 days.
i learnt to make quiche at hillcrest :D

-------------------------------------------------------
heres some random photos that have been sitting
forgotten in my camera for sometime. =P

love my room! having to climb the ladder each night
to get in bed, i sometimes do it in the darkness with my eyes closed,
and call to mind the Divine Ascent. It comes as a good reminder
of the Christian life before I retire for the night.
Painting and furnishing this room costed me some 600 bucks.
GST credits for the previous financial year eased the pinch on my pocket.

fyp, sourcing with hui ling for someone to make our product

product prototype by hui ling

at hillcrest, attending a talk on photography given by wei lian. :)

sneaked some photos of marie ;)

my brother's colourful and artistic chaos

on the door of my brother's room :DD

Risen Christ lectors at Fr Loiseau's Diamond Jubilee lunch

the ever beautiful susan

peggy and friend

Fr Loiseau, star of the celebratory luncheon.

the view of the moon was awesome that night!
too bad my baby blue camera has got its limits

young domestic lizard with an egg within,
on the reverse side, and under a bridal netting
which was actually the altar cloth for the family Rosary.
it clung oh-so-tightly to the cloth and i was shaking,
swaying, and doing all sorts of things to remove it from the cloth.

the praying mantis that suddenly appeared in my room at night
and scared the shit outta me. oh come on, i stay on the 19th floor!
how on earth did it ascend to that height?

nic was here. ah... =D

my lovely little altar. rather plain but its good i guess.
weekday missal to the left, last supper picture covered in wax to the right.
got the framed painting from cana (waterloo st.) it was painted on a
piece of dried leaf! Infant Jesus of Prague statue, i got it for only $13.50.
Immaculate Conception statue, only $29 or was it $27?
i seem to be able to get the best deals in town!

The two Hearts and the 8 Beatitudes :) my wardrobe
is holified! and on the inner side of the doors,
padre pio is hiding there!

home alone and hungry, i went to cook myself some lunch.
a picture before the heat seared the uncooked food.

resultant product of my 'creativity', chinese style herbal steamed rice.
contains, chopped ginseng, chopped apples, anchovies, mushrooms,
red dates. cooking instead of studying...
I was supposed to be preparing for an exam on the following day 0.0

healthy stuff. no oil added, no salt added. just plain, natural ingredients.
this is just one of my extremes.

chopped apples in orange juice

cleaning up was awful. thank goodness i was able to scrub
the pot clean. cos there was burnt rice stuck to the sides.
my mom could have banished me from the kitchen for eternity if she had seen this.

2010-07-31T10:26:00.002+08:00

Old Chinese Classic Songs =D

Absolutely Chinese-retro!

2010-07-22T02:31:00.002+08:00

Let my God be all I need now.

I want to embrace this new mess.

Wherever did it come from?

However did it come about?

I know not the lunacies of this world to handle this.

I only know that the Wisdom of God is the folly of man.

And I choose the folly of man.

The common man says, there is only one end to this.

Because I believe in God, I say, there are two ends to this:
one temporal, one eternal.

Although the temporal one scares me,
should I not be more afraid if the outcome of the eternal one is doom?

I am so taxed my breath is short.
My chest is so tight only God can put me at ease.

I never liked handling the lunacies of this world.

I'm just glad that I know which is the real better part.

I love God, and I know He loves me too.
May that be sufficient for my trials.

2010-07-21T00:41:00.002+08:00

to do before next week

FYP written report
MRI experience report
1 competency report
Radiography exam
Rad Info exam
sono big test
--------------------------
the wk following that

Sono exam
Imaging exam
radiography test
medical sociology exam
--------------------------
then,....

Liberation!!!
--------------------------

for a short while only. :(

Such is my student life.

i would like to have more time to myself.
i'd like some quiet time.
--------------------------
i figure, its just a matter of time before spectacles grow out from my face.
just you wait and see!

2010-07-19T21:17:00.003+08:00

i feel... older.
i seriously do.
i get tired from climbing a short flight of stairs. :(

i look at myself in the mirror and think to myself that i indeed look older.

i suddenly see the need to be more serious...

i am starting to buy adultish clothes...

jc kids now look like real kids to me
(i was one not so long ago.)

but standing beside adults, i still feel like a shrimp.

ok, i feel neither here nor there.

just in between.

but i'm still happy... i cannot not grin at least once in a day.

cos God makes me so happy. :D

2010-07-14T23:52:00.004+08:00

Today, I was just gazing at my Lord in the Holy Eucharist and I said to Him,
"Lord, you hide so well."

Sometimes, when I approach the Blessed Sacrament and I leave my gaze on it for
a while, I see a white wafer.
And then in my mind, I tell myself that yes, this is Jesus truly present.
I don't think I ever doubted the True Presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist.
Its just that I find myself rather slow in attributing Our Lord to the white piece of
Consecrated unleavened bread.

He hides so well, my Jesus.
His Forgiveness, I never know it truly.
His Goodness, I struggle to grasp.
His Love... I can never describe.

Banished to the confines of my mortal being.
Left to Mankind's nasty devices.
With Christian hope, the dew of Faith condenses in my soul
And thus, an act of Faith is what I ought to make,
"My Lord, and my God!"

Then raised to the heavens, am my soul.
In Faith, the Spirit of God creates anew.

He hides so well, my Jesus.
His Forgiveness, I never know it truly.
His Goodness, I struggle to grasp.
His Love... I can never describe.

Yet, He dwells within me.

Be at rest, my soul.

2010-07-14T00:21:00.002+08:00

If I am not mistaken,
If I had not been misled by deception,
Then I definitely know what direction I want to take in life.

I wish more people would choose this direction too.
They'd be so much happier.

Its a pity many people don't know what they want in life.
Even if they think they do, its quite obvious they don't
know how to take the necessary steps to get to that.

People sit on the fence and hope that as time passes by,
they might get an idea of what they might do.
And time flies by faster than they wish it would.
This explains why they are so many single people
who hope to get married someday, but they aren't
attached, and they don't feel inclined to get attached anyway.

Before anyone gets to point C, they must pass from point A to point B
and then on to point C.

Because life is as such. Things go undergo development.
Buildings are built from first piling the groundwork.
As if buildings can appear overnight without setting the piling.

But yes, buildings can appear overnight without piling.
Thats how it is in dreams.
But in this world, life is not like that.

The reason why many young Singaporeans are not getting married even though
they would love the company of a spouse is because... they are dreaming.
Their dreams are filled with ridiculous wonderment.
They expect mortals to fulfill all their lofty demands.
And of course, that would never happen.
So wake up from your dreams oh you pitiful people!

and when all your senses have failed, may you be guided by the Light of Truth.

2010-07-01T02:09:00.003+08:00

Goodbye 21.

Hello 22.

I'm ageing.

For the better or for the worse?

I want to be... more sensible.

More sensitive to others.

Kinder.

More loving.

Its possible.

My God raised me well over the past 22 whole years, won't you agree with me? =)

Thank You Abba Dearest!

2010-06-22T10:10:00.006+08:00

~~Curiosity~~ Stupid Blogs Killed the Stupid Cat

Yes, and I'm that stupid cat.
I read stupid blogs and click on stupid links.
I came to a stupid blog which was marked as having objectional content
but I thought to myself, "what could be so bad?"
stupid cat. now I need to go for confession.
not my fault lar... i was just reading blogs!!
bloody taint my eyes.
my poor pure beautiful and innocent eyes.
stupid internet
stupid blogs
stupid bloggers
stupid cat

the stupid internet is full of trash.

my soul
oh my poor soul

2010-06-18T00:57:00.003+08:00

You Never Know....

Went to see Sammy Kang off at the airport,
she's taking off for London.

left the airport and got to the train station there.

saw a foreigner struggling with the bulk of her luggage.
decided to help her with the luggage.

next thing i know, i received a job offer.

like wow.

we'll see in 2 weeks time, if she gets back to me
(if she remembers)
i get a job opportunity, just a sideline thing

2010-06-11T21:16:00.006+08:00

Oh how I love the Sacred Heart of Jesus!
What a great Solemnity it is today for the Catholic Church!

Tomorrow, its the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary!
*hugs* Mary!

2010-06-06T22:31:00.005+08:00

Institution of the Eucharist at The Last Supper
The Eucharist, the Life of the One Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church through the ages.The Eucharistic Miracle in Lanciano, 700A.D.
http://www.mbprice.com/therealpresence/em-lanciano.htm

The Eucharist, Our Lord Jesus Christ, truly present to us today.

I've always loved the Solemnity of Corpus Christi.
It is the Feast of the Body of Christ and is very important to Catholics.
This is one of the Feastdays of the Catholic Church
that always causes my heart to thump extra wildly. =)

to find out more:
click here

Ave, Verum Corpus
natum de Maria Virgine,
Vere passum immolatum
in Cruce pro homine,
Cujus latus perforatum
unda* fluxit (et)* sanguine,
Esto nobis praegustatum
in mortis examine.

Hail,true body
born of the Virgin Mary,
Who truly suffered, sacrificed
on the Cross for man,
Whose pierced side overflowed
with water* and blood,
Be for us a foretaste**
In the test of death.

Anima Christi

Anima Christi, sanctifica me.

Corpus Christi, salva me.

Sanguis Christi, inebria me.

Aqua lateris Christi, lava me.

Passio Christi, conforta me.

O bone Jesu, exaudi me.

Intra tua vulnera absconde me.

Ne permittas me separari a te.

Ab hoste maligno defende me.

In hora mortis meae voca me.

Et iube me venire ad te,

Ut cum Sanctis tuis laudem te.

In saecula saeculorum.

Amen

Soul of Christ, sanctify me

Body of Christ, save me

Blood of Christ, inebriate me

Water from the side of Christ, wash me

Passion of Christ, strengthen me

O good Jesus, hear me

Within Thy wounds hide me

Separated from Thee let me never be ("Permit me not to be separated from Thee")

From the malicious enemy defend me ("From the malignant enemy defend me")

In the hour of my death call me

And bid me come unto Thee

That I may praise Thee with Thy saints ("That with they Saints I may praise Thee")

Forever and ever

Amen

2010-06-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Godma! :))

anyway, my intent of this post is to blog about something funny that happened yesterday.

as i was leaving school during my long break (of 3hrs!), i bought a waffle for breakfast.

having finished the waffle when i was outside yio chu kang mrt, i crushed the paperbag into a

ball and hurled it lightly over to the litter bin some three meters away. The paperball missed

the bin by a little. There was a mynah haning around the bin so it fell onto that mynah's head,

bounced off the bird's head, then rolled into some bushes. Then that same mynah whose head

was hit by the paper ball started after the ball that was rolling away and it chashed the paperball

into the bush. Trust me, I didn't know what to make out of this... To laugh or to feel sorry that

my paperball missed the bin, and that it had landed on a poor bird hanging around the bin.

Too funny. Simply too funny.

2010-05-20T08:16:00.002+08:00

Absolutely enchanting!
I especially like her video "I'd like to teach the world to sing."

http://www.demiholborn.com/

2010-05-17T21:45:00.004+08:00

Indifference

This is really strange.
I don't really feel like doing anything these days.
I seem to have lost my taste for everything except for prayer.
Sitting in my room and doing things seems like a chore.
Going to school seems like a chore.
Having a meal seems like a chore.
Hanging out with friends seems like a chore too.
No, I'm not depressed. I definitely am not.
Its just that I seem to have lost my interest in the things around me.
Even my favourite foods no longer excite me.
It doesn't matter what food I eat, though it used to matter a lot to me.
I don't care if it is raining or the sun is shining.
I don't care if the cats ignore me.
I don't care if my friends are any more responsive towards me
as in the previous days.
I just don't care anymore.
Its like I just don't really see the point in caring about such things.
I still have preferences in things but these preferences don't seem
to make much of a difference now.

I used to care about clothes and appearance.
Now its doesn't matter to me if I'm am clad in something that is not
exactly cool or charming.

I don't care if I get A or C at school even though I know I ought to
try my best.

Am I growing old, or am I growing tired of this world?

If this world were to last another century.
Things are bound to be just the same.
You struggle on in life. You expect some love.
You think you give enough love.
You think of yourself.
You eat, you sleep, you bathe, you excrete.
You make friends. You flee from what you don't like.
You have aims. You set out to achieve your aims.
You want respect. You want wealth.
And then we all, go to the grave.
Same end for everyone, you might think as such
if you did not believe in Eternal life.

Laugh at yourself and your ancestors, and the generations to come.
Is that all there is to your life?
What makes your life worth living?
You might want to search for the Answer.

BTW, I am happy. I really am.
This indifference to the things around me has not
cost me my happiness.
If you even know what I'm talking about...

2010-05-10T12:02:00.001+08:00

My room's furbishing is complete.
With exception for the rug, small fan, and the curtains.
Nickyyyy... come and seeeee...

2010-05-05T09:13:00.002+08:00

SICK. -_-

but...

I'm going to IKEA tonight!!

not that i have much of a choice.

my beloved brother decided to ask

the delivery people to deliver his

new big big cupboard in less than

two weeks time.

so i'm forced to order my furniture as soon as possible,

so that i can move out of the room and make way for him.

things to get...

- single loft bed

- bureau style table

- nice downy pillow

- curtain rod and clips?

- should i change my mattress too?

- rugs?

my nose is seriously killing me.

think i'll die from sneezing

2010-04-24T19:14:00.002+08:00

Just bought the Collected Works of St. John of the Cross. :D...
okay... but he'll have to wait for me to finish reading other books
before I begin on this one :)

2010-04-23T01:25:00.002+08:00

Father's suggestion.
-------------------------
This would take a lot of effort, money, and time.
But I hope it is for the better.
I shall put up my own preventive measures.
This is one reckless living here on earth!
-------------------------
...
I dream of Carmel.
About less than a month left over to clear
the unseen mess from that old pot of spew,
and then I shall have the freedom of mind to
explore a hope of my heart.
Counting down with much anticipation...
tick tick tick... it trickles by the second.

2010-04-18T21:16:00.003+08:00

Confounded disaster of disasters.
The stupid sony ericsson phone broke down for the 2nd time in less than 6 months.
previously, my nokia phone lasted me four and a half years.
maybe this is a sign to tell me i should just get an iphone :)
heck with the stupid 1 year warranty (only 5 months to go). imagine i go repair it again
then it spoils for the third time. then i'll truly wonder if
sony ericsson makes phones that are only to last you for the period of
warranty. after warranty period over, phone dies, then they want you to get a new one.
its a scam i tell you, its a scam!

2010-04-17T01:49:00.002+08:00

This was my prayer just now...
its totally LOL!!

Lord please help ________ & ________ with their assignments.
I'm so glad I didn't go to Uni!

For laughing out loud and crying out loud man...

But its not like I don't intend to do my degree.
I'll do it part-time, maybe with London Southbank Uni.
Yea, save that for next year.

Easter is sooo good this year! I feel so much Easter joy that began from Easter Vigil Mass
right up till now... like in Mass, in prayer, in daily living, I feel so much more energised, motivated, and alive as a Christian.
As though by the merits of Our Lord's dying and rising, I am born again this Easter.
Yes, its not that I don't get the Catholic Church's teaching on that, its just that I find it being realised in me, though not my whole being is yielding to grace because of my poor self and life.
Its like the best Easter ever, for me.
Maybe I'm maturing spiritually thats why I feel this way.
My soul is awakening from slumber and sin!
Yes, its true, I no longer feel that same hopeless inclinations to sin badly.
Its like my flour lost a lot of the yeast in it miraculously, by God's grace of course.
Maybe Lent did me much good.
Because this Lent, I was more disciplined than in the past.
In the past, I was very much like a child, although I still am like a child now.
I used to have good resolutions which never lasted the good length of 2 weeks. =P

Shall I say, daily Mass did my soul good.
Spiritual direction did my soul good.
Faithfully doing my spiritual exercises did my soul good.
Maturing in mental age did my soul good.
Friends who posted good articles on FB which I bothered to read did my soul good.
Journeying with the Catechumens in the RCIA did my soul good.
Suffering against my own will concerning the Legion did my soul good.
Daily rosary did my soul good.
Painful friendships did my soul good.
Opus Dei doctrine classes, meditations and Benedictions did my soul good.
Family rosary did my soul good.
Learning to trust God when the odds are against me did my soul good.
Resignation to "complacency" did my soul good.
Breaking away from my addictions did my soul good.
Being a child of God did my soul good.
Letting God more and more into my life did my soul good.
The deaths of several people I know over the last two years made
me reflect on the frailty of life and did my soul good.

Deo gratias!

2010-04-09T22:34:00.002+08:00

Dear friends,
if you read this,
please offer prayers for my current intention.
Thanks.
=)

And no, this intention is not about my life vocation.
Its something of a smaller scale, a project, yet worthy
of your prayers.

Gratias.

2010-03-24T23:20:00.002+08:00

We need to pray more.
For those who are carried away by pride and the attraction of being acclaimed by worldlings.
Sometimes, jealously could make a person so envious of another that hatred develops. This hatred eats him from the inside, and spreads like malaria, as St. Maria Goretti puts it. And what a terrible state a soul would be in!

Mk 4:3-20
Listen! The sower went out to sow. As he sowed, some of the seed fell on rocky ground where it has little soil; it sprang up immediately because it had no depth; but when the sun rose and burned it, it had no roots. Other seed fell among thorn bushes and the thorns grew and choked it, so it didn't produce any grain. But some seed fell on good soil, grew and increased and yielded grain; some produced thirty times as much, others sixty and others one hundred times as much." And Jesus added, "Listen then, if you have ears."

When the crowd went away, some who were around him with the Twelve asked about the parables.

He answered them, "The mystery of God has been given to you. But for those outside, everything comes in parables, so that the more they see, they don't perceive; the more they hear, they don't understand; otherwise they would be converted and pardoned."

Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any of the parables?

What the sower is sowing is the word. Those along the path where the seed fell are people who hear the word, but as soon as they do, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.

Other people receive tge word like rocky ground. As soon as they hear the word, they accept it with joy, but they have no roots so it lasts onlu a little while. No sooner does trouble or persecution come because of the word, than they fall.

Others receive the seed as among thorns. After they hear the word, they are caught up in the worries of this life, false hopes of riches and other desires, All these come in and choke the word so that finally it produces nothing.

And there are those who receive the word as good soil. They hear the word, take it to heart and produce: some thirty, some sixty and some one hundred times as much."

2010-03-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

Anti-Popes and the Dangers of a Parallel Magisterium

3/23/2010

Zenit News Agency (www.zenit.org)

'The situation is serious, because the gap between the faithful who listen to the Pope and those who do not is spreading everywhere.'

Monsignor Giampaolo Crepaldi

ROME, (Zenit.org) - The attempt of the press to implicate Benedict XVI in the question of pedophilia is only the most recent sign of the aversion that many have for the Pope.

It is necessary to ask oneself how this Pontiff, despite his evangelical meekness and honesty, the clarity of his words joined to the depth of his thought and of his teachings, arouses in some places sentiments of disgust and forms of anti-clericalism that it was believed had been surmounted. And this, it must be said, causes even greater astonishment and also distress when those who do not follow the Pope and criticize his alleged errors are men of the Church, whether theologians, priests or laymen.

The unheard of and clearly forced accusations of theologian Hans Kung against the person of Joseph Ratzinger, theologian, bishop, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and now Pontiff for having caused, according to him, the pedophilia of some ecclesiastics through his theology and magisterium on celibacy profoundly distress us. It never happened before that the Church was attacked in this way.

To the persecutions against many Christians, crucified in the literal sense in many parts of the world, to the many attempts to uproot Christianity in previously Christian societies with a devastating violence on the legislative and educational plane, and to customs that cannot be explained by good common sense, has been added for some time a fury against this Pope, whose providential greatness is before everyone's eyes.

These attacks are echoed sadly by those who do not listen to the Pope, also among ecclesiastics, professors of theology in seminaries, priests and laymen. Those who do not accuse the Pontiff openly, but are deaf to his teachings, who do not read the documents of his magisterium, who write and say exactly the contrary of what he says, give life to pastoral and cultural initiatives, for example in the area of bioethics or in that of the ecumenical dialogue, in open diverge with all that he teaches. The phenomenon is very grave as it is very widespread.

Benedict XVI has given teachings on the Second Vatican Council that many Catholics reject openly, promoting forms of counter-formation and of systematic parallel teaching, led by many "anti-popes"; he has given teachings on "non-negotiable values" which very many Catholics minimize or reinterpret, and this also happens on the part of theologians and famous commentators guests of the Catholic press in addition to secular press; he has given teachings on the primacy of the apostolic faith in the wise reading of events and very many continue talking of the primacy of the situation, or of the practice, or of the data of human sciences; he has given teachings on conscience and on the dictatorship of relativism but very many put democracy or the Constitution before the Gospel. For many, "Dominus Iesus," the Note of 2002 on Catholics in politics, the 2006 Regensburg address, "Caritas in Veritate," is as if they had never been written.

The situation is serious, because the gap between the faithful who listen to the Pope and those who do not is spreading everywhere, even in diocesan seminaries and Institutes of Religious Sciences, and animates two pastoral programs that are very different in themselves, so that they almost no longer understand one another, as if they were the expression of two different Churches, causing insecurity and error in many faithful.

In these very difficult times, our Observatory feels the duty to express our filial closeness to Benedict XVI. We pray for him and remain faithful in following him.

[Translation by ZENIT]

----------------

Archbishop Giampaolo Crepaldi of the Diocese of Trieste is the president of the Cardinal Van Thuân International Observatory for the Social Doctrine of the Church.

2010-03-24T00:13:00.006+08:00

'Well done, my good and faithful servant. . . Come, share your master's joy.' Matthew 25

HLI Mourns Loss of Beloved Founder,

Father Paul Marx

Front Royal, VA /Christian Newswire/ -- Shortly after 8:00 a.m. on March 20th of this year Fr. Paul Marx, OSB passed from this world into the Life that never ends--this is the hope that the whole pro-life movement nurtures in its heart for the one whom Pope John Paul II called "the Apostle of Life."

"In the more than forty-year pro-life career of Fr. Marx, and through his almost three million miles of world travel, Human Life International (HLI) saw the blossoming of the world's conscience about the issues of life," said Rev. Thomas J. Euteneuer, Fr. Marx's successor as president of HLI. "Father put pro-life 'on the map' in a literal sense and through his efforts gave the world direct and organized opposition to the culture of death."

Often referred to as "the father of the international pro-life movement", Fr. Marx visited all 50 states and 91 countries in his over 40 years of pro-life activism. Seeing the advance of anti-life forces before most did, he founded the Human Life Center in 1971, two years before Roe v. Wade. In 1981, the Human Life Center became Human Life International (HLI), the world's first and largest international pro-life organization. Fr. Marx was president of HLI until his retirement in 1999.

Father Marx authored over one dozen books, including The Death Peddlers: War on the Unborn (1971), Death Without Dignity: Killing for Mercy (1982), Confessions of a Pro-Life Missionary (1988), Fighting for Life (1989), The Flying Monk (1990), The Warehouse Priest (1993), and his autobiography, Faithful for Life (1997).

President Ronald Reagan once wrote in a personal letter to Fr. Marx, "You can be proud of all you've done to summon this Nation and others to reflection and positive action on issues affecting the sanctity of human life. God bless you."

"We pray for the repose of his soul and for the strengthening of the spiritual children and pro-life family that Father leaves as a legacy in more than 100 countries" said Rev. Euteneuer.

Father Marx died just short of his 90th birthday. He liked to point out that he was born 10 days before the late Pope John Paul II, who once said to him, "You are doing the most important work on earth."

A Mass of Christian Burial for Fr. Marx will be held at 3:30 p.m. on Friday, March 26 at St. John's Abbey.

Below is the full text of the statement of Rev. Thomas J. Euteneuer, president of HLI.

"Shortly after 8:00 a.m. on March the 20th of this year Fr. Paul Marx, OSB passed from this world into the Life that never ends -- at least that is the hope that the whole pro-life movement nurtures in its heart for the one whom Pope John Paul II called 'the Apostle of Life.'

"In the forty-year pro-life career of Fr. Marx, and through his three million miles of world travel, Human Life International saw the blossoming of the world's conscience about the issues of life. Father put pro-life 'on the map' in a literal sense and through his efforts gave the world direct and organized opposition to the culture of death. He will be missed dearly by all pro-lifers, especially those of us who had a chance to work intimately with him, and whose lives were changed irrevocably as a result.

"When that blessed day comes, when the fight for life is finally won, people will look back at this dark age of destruction and wonder who opposed the onslaught. Standing among the greatest champions for life will be Fr. Marx, not only for his own work, but for the work done by the countless other pro-life warriors he inspired."

"We pray for the repose of his soul and for the strengthening of the spiritual children and pro-life family that Father leaves as a legacy in more than 100 countries."

###

Human Life International: Creating effective opposition to the culture of death around the world. Founded in 1981, HLI is the world's largest pro-life organization and has affiliates in over 100 countries on six continents.

http://hli.org/index.php/news/832?task=view

2010-03-20T22:38:00.008+08:00

Tennis

This is a story of tennis, and of smashing a neighbour's window.
~by Fr Joe Lopez, given Thursday evening at a meditation in Hillcrest.
(with juicy details added)
-----------------------------------------------------------

One day, you are playing tennis and then you unintentionally smash
a tennis ball in your neighbour's window, thus forming an artistically jagged hole in the glass.

Red-faced, and thoroughly embarrassed, you knock on your neighbour's door to ask for her forgiveness.

Much to your joy and relief, the good lady readily forgives you and you are all smiles about it.

Now you go home, glad that you have been forgiven.
BUT...

But, there remains a bad hole in the glass of your neighbour's window.

So in all sensibility, you know what you have to do; Compensate for the broken window.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

The same idea goes for confessions and penance.

Having sinned, you go to confession so you can be at peace with God.

And so, through the Ministry of the Church, you are granted God's pardon and peace through the Absolution.

So, you have apologised, and you have been forgiven.

But what about the broken window in this context?

You'll still have to pay for it.

Confession removes your guilt, but you'd still have to make reparations for the ill-effects that come with your transgressions.

This calls for penance. Yes, penance.

Penance is not a bad thing if you see it in the right light.

Is it not better for you to pay for the broken window now?

If you don't, it still has to be paid for.

And then, you'll do time in Purgatory for that broken window.

So, isn't it better to pay for the broken window now, rather than in Purgatory?

If you ask me, I don't want Purgatory.

Purgatory is a compromise of Joy.

In Purgatory, you can't attend Mass, you can't pray for yourself, you can't pray for others. You just sit there and wait, and stare, and basically, do time.

Wait until others pray for you, wait till you can finally go to heaven.

Haven't you had enough of waiting for Eternal Joy while on Earth?

2010-03-17T23:25:00.002+08:00

This is news to you as much as it is news to me:

Clare, the stray cat lover, has for the first time in her life
discovered that she is allergic to cats.

BooHoo...

I was so allergic to Nick's kitten today.

BooHoo...

i'm so happy. i'm so sure that God is really happy today too.
cos I prayed well. like finally. after that prayer dry spell.

God is love. Thus, how can war ever be justified?
No war can be justified, ever. I just learned that today.
Why, even dear Peter got reprimanded by our Lord for
having drawn his sword in trying to defend our Lord.
Small knives should be used for preparing meals.
Big knives should be employed for the purpose
of clearing big stuff, not humans.
Small guns should not have ever existed,
neither should big guns ever have existed.

The red shirts... though they are unarmed,
their foolishness perturbs me. Why spill blood
in such a wasteful manner? At least donate it to
hospitals and the blood can be used to save lives.
Why pour their blood to waste it?
If this is how much they value their own bodies and lives,
the lives of others included, then what does democracy stand for them?
Democracy is useless for people who know not how to value their
own lives and the lives of others over misbehaviour!
Would not Thailand thrive without the silliness of some of it
people?

I shall not let it bother me. But I feel sorry for Abhisit!

2010-03-17T12:30:00.006+08:00

Ah crap. this is my last week of school holidays.
boohoo... its too short!!

but i think i spent it quite well.
did lotsa painting, repaired an antique bag i bought at a thrift store for $6.
went for 2 and a half retreats.
visited 2 pdms. intended to visit more but cj is not holding meetings during hols
and exams (wth right?...)

went to malaysia, attended a funeral, stood as proxy for rcia scrutiny,
revamped my blog, going to nick's place later, going to hillcrest tmrw.
so many things done but still got so many thing to do.
i haven't actually done any prep for clinicals =(

my online purchase should come in by tomorrow =)

nyp Lom meeting now... then Nick's place... then lectors meeting... so busy man...
tomorrow, animate for Mass.
friday, Lector for Mass :) visit IJ pdm.
sat, Mt Carmel then tertiary curia then Acies then hillcrest
sunday, Mt Carmel then (prep for clinicals)

monday-and-da-whole-wk-long: clinicals at kkh... i have dear irene with me. its gonna be fun <3.
clinicals= Reports= late nights= Early death

p.s. i'm still thinkng of a vespa.

~God loves me and I love God.

2010-02-26T22:50:00.002+08:00

The mysterious effects of prayer

Remember the song which I posted on my blog some time ago, Pescador de Hombres?
You know, something wonderful and strange happened 2 days ago.
I know I'm a silly computer games addict.
I can sit in front of the screen and game for a few hours without realising it.

So, on Wednesday, I felt that I was wasting too much time on the computer
but yet I could not seem to get off it. Then an idea came to my mind, that
I should pray to get off the computer. And so I sang the first line of one of the verses
of that song (English version), "Lord, take my hands and direct them...".
And guess what?
The next thing I knew, my hand that was on the mouse, it started to move mysteriously to click around and close the programs that I was using, window by window, really quickly.
And then it moved to the start menu, then to turn off computer, then to the turn off button.
Just in a matter of like less than 3 secs after singing that line and the turn off button was hit?!

I'm astounded. I'm amazed. Seriously, it is a wonderful thing.
Maybe thats why the Polish version of that same
song was JPII's favourite song. Cos its a good song, don't you see?
A lot of graces attached to that song I bet, as though its composer was
divinely ordained to the purpose of composing that song to help Catholics. :)

.

2010-02-24T01:13:00.002+08:00

I love my God no matter what, even though sometimes I act as though
I'm short of love.
But, I love Him, dearly.
Even when I sin, I wish I was better-able in keeping from sin.
Then again, I still sin.
But I love Him still.

Life could be so trying.
Even when things seem to function harmoniously outwardly,
and there seems to be no hindrance to peace.
Maybe I think too much.
Yea, that seems to be the problem here.
Clare Therese has to quit thinking too much and go to bed.
like now.

2010-02-15T10:21:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year Challenge,
are you game for it?

I just thought of something stupid for CNY.
If someone wants to give you a hong bao this year,
what if you were to say, "Sorry, but do I know you?"
or maybe, "Thanks, but no thanks."

I wonder what their reactions will be.
Honestly, I can't figure how ridiculous their expressions will be.

And then when they withdraw the hand with hong bao, you say,
"Wait, I changed my mind. Thanks a lot."
Then you give them a nice big grin.
They'll faint. ROFL.

Okay lar, to sanctify this, just pray for whoever who needs money this season.
Whoever who needs love, and whoever who has shown love or generosity.

Have FUN!!

2010-02-10T22:45:00.002+08:00

If there is any one thing I really enjoy, it is being conscious of God's loving presence.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Holidays are here for good but not for long. Just 5 and a half weeks. After that, I've got my final year clinicals to go for.

I'm full of glee. I feel like doing so many things which I previously had no time to do.

-clay modeling
-wood carving
-paint the wooden ball which i drew on.
-going to nicky ang's hse to play with her new kitten
-going to church more
-spending a day at the beach
-hanging out with my girlfriends
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow, I'm gonna dye my hair again!! No longer would I be so dumb as to choose
dark chocolate coloured hair dye.

Yea, awesome punk-ness. :)

Its so fun to school in a poly.

Get to dye our hair and dress in funky stuff. sweet!

2010-02-09T20:59:00.003+08:00

Just one more paper to go.
Just one more, and I'll be freed from the fazing process of memorising and regurgitating lecture notes.

Can't wait to get out of the country.
The last time I got out of the country was almost 6 years ago.
Thats way too long a time.
I need to move around, thats me alright.

Today's patho paper was a real relief.
Hope my grades take a turn for the better.

Thank you, Abba for the happy, sad, and still moments of today.

All was good. (except the devil and his minions)
All is good. (except the devil and his minions)
But, Abba is the BEST! =D

2010-02-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

My liberation from the books is near at hand!!
Its a day I shall welcome with open arms.

Some updates. I won't be in the country from the 18th till 21st this month.

If you wanna contact me, pls pls don't email me, don't fb me, don't msn me, don't call me.

Just send me an sms will do. But thats if its really urgent, k?

2010-01-27T21:56:00.002+08:00

Clare Therese thanks God for the gift of life.
Cos she almost got langah-ed by a speeding motorcycle while
on her way to school today.
The pedestrian light was about to turn green so she made her way across the road.
Didn't see a motorcyclist speeding towards her.

Thank goodness for the loud long honk.
Thank goodness for the motorcyclist's quick decision to honk at me.
Thank goodness I stopped walking on time.
Thank goodness there was time for me to react.
Thank goodness I heeded the voice which told me not to plug in my earphones when i was coming down in the lift before crossing the road.

Thanks be to God, most high.

2010-01-27T14:46:00.002+08:00

a little note on what cj is for me now.

things aren't the same anymore.
i went back to the school this afternoon.
it just simply doesn't feel the same anymore.
no, its not the physical environment that has changed.
the canteen stalls are the same, the school bell still rings the same,
the mee sua tastes the same, some of the staff are still the same.
so what is it that has changed for me that i no longer feel at home there?
maybe i have changed, with age.

but i was so thankful for the lovely lunch i had with mdm wee (a.k.a. lao shu)
over our bowls of noodle king's delicious noodles. and for the cup of juice
which she treated me to. i wish i could remember the two juice combinations
which i was so addicted to that i'll drink them both at one go after PE lessons.
and then we started talking about the kids whom mdm wee taught. (we were all
pretty much like kids back then) she still remembers the lao sai king, lim zhi hao,
huang mei wen and the dragg force guy... manfred too, and not forgetting wanni...
we were just chatting about how things have been, how dhoi dhoi has moved on to
sajc to become a HOD, how each of the teachers have moved away, and that farhy is
back after returning from short break in europe.

then... the next thing i knew br. paul walked into the canteen.
i thought it was a nice thing.
but it seemed to have brought about a strange chain of reactions.
how our lovely conversation broke, how the teachers stood up,
rushed to clear their plates and cups, said bye so hurriedly,
and disappeared. it is too strange for me, too much for me to comprehend.

maybe i know why im tired of going back there.
I'm tired of repeating the story of my life, what happened after i left cj,
over and over again. i was expecting to enjoy a bowl of noodles
in peace, be undisturbed by the clatter and chatter around me,
and fall into reminiscence. but still, i'm glad for the updates.
it disturbs me though, to bring back old memories.
not that these memories haunt me in anyway,
but i think i prefer living in the present.
i pretty much doubt i'll go back there again, for it is too awkward!!

2010-01-22T23:32:00.004+08:00

A good new Chant

I feel quite myself again. Because my throat has just resumed normal functions.
Actually, I was suffering from a bad throat infection for almost 2 weeks. It affected
my right tonsil and right jaw so singing was a real chore.
But I still sang for Mass anyway. Shouldn't have forced it but oh well...

Today is a happy day for me.
Short day at school plus, after school I decided to pop by Church for
a quiet time with God. And then I saw one of the Church organists
whom I know. She taught me how to read music scores. =D
And yes, that makes me very happy. God provides for my everything.
Cos for sometime, there was this thought that haunted me;
that since I couldn't read music scores, I was perhaps not cut out for voice lessons.
And its not a nice thought... But finally... I understand music scores better now.
Yay... =)) Now I just have to plan my finances well before I start to arrange the
voice lessons.

If God wants this for me, He would definitely pave the way for me to
go about this. Cos, I am actually quite clueless as to what to expect and all,
and how to go about these things. When I was little, I wanted to take music
and dance and art, but my dad, he disapproved of these things.
Now that I have the financial means, hehehe ;P (God even took care of the finances.)
God totally rocks!! He sees to my everything, my concerns, my fears, my likes,
and my dislikes!

Just as how I always wanted to take geog when i was in sec sch and jc.
But my parents were so adverse towards my wanting to take arts subs.
So when I retook A'levels, I found that it was a blessing in disguise cos I
finally got to do what I wanted, which is geog. Though I thought I wanted Lit
too, but it doesn't matter, cos God knows whats best for me.
And He always gives me the best I realise. So, I should quit complaining
about the stress that a radiographer would have to undergo when he/ she works
at sgh. Cos, God knows, it is best for me. Otherwise, He would never
let me go there. I tend to wonder if the pretty things He has in store for me
when I start work there is that they have Mass in sgh, and that it is so near to
the Carmelite monastery... Just a thought... why so near carmel? yar hor?

God is nice. Really, really nice.

God even cheers me up when I feel down. Cos He'll put cats along the path
I walk and cute birds too... I'm whacked over animals... those fur balls can
make me go gaga. =) And when night falls, if He doesn't put cats, He'll put stars
in the night sky. Its a bonus when He puts cats, dogs, other fur balls, and stars,
nice clouds, and a cool gentle breeze all at one go. Cos He knows I'm whacked
over stars too =) God does so much for me... in the evenings, He also
puts a beautiful sunset in such a way that it''ll set down behind a nice block of flats
and the backdrop is Bukit timah hill and the forested area of macritchie reservoir
park... So the sunrays will dance though the glass, and radiate all around that block
and on each side, the pretty green shades from the forests.
So pretty, the way He infuses the beauty He puts in nature, with the beauty
with which He commissions humans to put together in brick, concrete, steel.

He even fixed my family relations. Cos when I was a child, I grew up in an environment
hostile for any kid. If your parents fight, and throw things at each other, and one runs
out of the house to stay with relatives while you are left behind with the other parent
it sucks. And then, one often came home dead drunk, and would hit us, beat us, and cause chaos in the house. My brother and I couldn't be happy cheeful kids. Cos whenever
we we squealing away happily when we went out, we'll get scolded, and hit/beaten, for being playful. If not for spiritual childhood, I don't think I can understand childhood as God had meant
it to be when He created the world. Truth be told... I always felt that my dad was violent and abusive. But now I don't hate him. I used to, so much that I wish I could exact revenge on him for making me so unhappy. But then, our loving God changes people cos His love is pure and holy and beautiful, something that all of mankind desires deep down within. It makes them want to be nice and forgiving to everyone including those who hurt you damn bad.

The biggest challenge on earth is probably to love well. Not just ourselves but more so others. (I do not think it could ever be a challenge to love God. God is so lovable. =D ) Cos love makes us somewhat like God. Because God is love. Mortal man, he who was formed of dust, difficult it would be for him to be like God. But God gave us grace, and still keeps giving us graces, sufficient, and often, more than enough so we are able to love.

Tell me my friends, can dust love? Dust can't love. But if God formed man from dust which He also made, and made it to be like Him, so we, once dust, are now, more than dust, cos we can love.

Pretty secrets which I just shared with you today. May your soul be blessed if you read this well and pondered it too.

P.s. If God didn't help me out, I wouldn't be where I am today.

In my youth, I was once upon a time:-
suicidal,
addicted to porn,
on the verge of causing grievous hurt to someone
in depression
sexually abused (many times)
about to try to hack some software
about to run away from home
always wishing my parents were off-dead.

If God hadn't saved me, I would have laid in a shit hole, and never got out.
Honestly, truly, I have to thank God for everything.
That is why I am now so God-crazy.
It explains the layout of my blog.
If you once couldn't understand.
Perhaps, now you do.
.
.

2010-01-19T11:36:00.010+08:00

They don't understand. I don't do fantastically well at school because God wants to keep me humble. And for that I am thankful. Because I know I can be very proud. They think I'm not trying hard enough. They think I am slow. But I must say, I'm alright with how my grades are. I'm content with anything between the range of 65% to 75%. I seriously see nothing wrong with that. My classmates are super competitive and to them, I'm not bothered with competition. What's wrong with getting grades that constantly fall within this range? Am I supposed to feel sorry for myself? These grades aren't good enough for me to qualify for the scholarship but I don't know why I'm still so happy.

My lecturer said to me when he saw me watching a padre pio movie during my break, that I shouldn't be watching such stuff. That it does me no good. That I ought to be watching Korean drama instead since there is a lot of portrayal on family values. And so I said, but religion is good too, cos religions teach moral values. Korean shows expand your mind on plastic surgery, whats so good about that. And he insisted that religions are no good. That nowdays, they seem to be the cause of unnecessary trouble. I wish there were a Catholic polytechnic. then my interests and my real passion would no longer seem out of place. in this secular environment, it seems to say to me, that they have no place for me because, because, I love God. And that is rubbish. Please at least be grateful for the life that He gave you if you cannot seem to find anything else to thank Him for.

Why, without God, I wouldn't even be able to score 1 mark. Mortal man, such pride.

2010-01-18T16:11:00.005+08:00

Journey Home, EWTN (Scott Hahn featured)

2010-01-18T15:12:00.003+08:00

Hey hey Cjcians and ex-Cjcians!!!

funds needed for the new chapel.

must help okay?!

APPENDIX A

STAINED GLASS WINDOWS:

1. Creation to David $ 25,000
2. Jesus’ work $ 30,000 (Taken)
3. Last supper $ 25,000
4. Cross over altar $ 10,000

FURNITURE:

1. 8 Chapel pews (long) @ $ 1,600 each (2 taken)
2. 8 Chapel pews (short) @ $ 1,200 each
3. Granite altar $ 6,500
4. Holy water font at entrance $ 4,800
5. Lectern $ 3,600
6. 4 Altar chairs @ $ 700 each
7. Entry table $ 1,200
8. 2 Per-dieu @ $ 600 each
9. Presider’s chair $ 1,000
10. Credence table $ 1,000

2010-01-15T11:06:00.002+08:00

I was once again, subjected to another of those 'Shades of Gray' test.
I hate it because I really can't differentiate one thing from another.
today, it was on the brain.
And trust me... the jelly structure is so annoying in shades of gray.
how awful because i know i failed this really badly.
i don't have to see the see the results of the test to know that.
it is just that when you realised you have no idea what you are doing,
and you fill in the blank spaces repeatedly with the same bunch of answers,
and hope that on the basis of probability, you might hit the nail on the head
by chance... how could you ever convince yourself that you could pass.
I can't lie to myself. I really need to slog this sem.

I resolve to appoint more time from each day for the next 3 weeks
for the purpose of studying. When I say studying, I mean analysing
gray images from different perspectives, memorising them and then
analysing them again. And then, to fill the leftover memory spaces
with the different angulations for the differing projections of radiographic
positioning. And hopefully, still be able to stuff my gray and white jelly
substance with the occurence of pathologies, the clinical features,
the complications, and blah.

And maybe at the end of the day, I can correctly regurgitate all this
'information' onto the test scripts. I do hope I can.

I feel so sorry for my brain. This is absolute mental abuse and I
have to responsibly inflict torture on my brain in order to fulfil
my requirements as a student.

I can't wait to return to heaven.

2010-01-13T15:08:00.002+08:00

patho test tomorrow...

i can't believe i am so calm.

maybe i have just attained a new attitude towards exams...

an attitude of indifference.

this is bad
=P

Legion meeting now...

tad dah.

2010-01-13T01:20:00.003+08:00

http://www.truefaith.tv/True_Faith_TV/Home.html

Gabriel is sooo funny i'd love to be his spiritual sister. =D!

2010-01-08T11:05:00.003+08:00

Baby Talk

I hate... politics.
it is truly dumb dumb stuff.

-------------------------------------

You know, I have a great korkor/cockroach/ buaya.
Recently, he bought me 2 Il Divo cds and 1 Andrea Bocelli cd,
and these come accompanied with dvds. such a good korkor hor?=D
btw, he's still available.

Stats:

Buaya Wong, age 22 going on 23
never had a gf before so he is not a playboy.
likes cameras and such.
rockclimbs... never heard of a cockroach/ buaya rockclimb before right?
this buaya is a good buaya.
he goes to church every sunday.
he prays the rosary every sunday.
he likes to eat kfc and meaty stuff.

-----------------digress...------------------

and then i went to hmv too. since it was their sale,
I went to get some piano recital cd on Chopin's pieces
and a Bee Gee's double cd pack.
Bought my mom's birthday pressie early,
got her a Carpenters cd.
p.s. (if you haven't heard of it, its cos they were the in thing when we weren't born yet)
p.s. again (her bd is actually in March =P)

Music is in the air and in my head...
when i try to do silent meditation, Il Divo's Hallelujah
plays in my head.
and when i walk home from church, i can sing almost non-stop,
through my housing estate, at the lift lobby, in front of my gate.
I think the only time when I actually stop singing, forcibly,
is when I am crossing the road, so that I won't get lang gah-ed by
any lousy driver.
Maybe I am retarded.
I now sing all the time, even when I walk to school, provided i'm not late
and trying to run to a lecture or something like that.
I sing in the bath. I sing in class.
I sing between lessons.

and now, i wanna go see if my voice can go far.
i am so gonna take voice lessons.
but it is uber expensive.
found out from a friend who has 2 vocal coaches
that the last time he bargained for the kind of genre that
i like, the lowest rate is 50 bucks for 45mins.
freagging ex man!
so, if i really get a voice coach, i probably can forget about
saving enough to get a car by the time i hit 25.

so its between voice coach and car at 25.
which is better arh?

but honestly speaking, i really really love singing.
its more than a fetish... its almost as though i was
divinely ordained for this purpose.

so maybe singing is better than a car.
after all, i'll be able to take a train to the hospital.
and with cars, you prolly need to spend a whooping sum
on maintenance and stupid parking tix and which
will hole-out the life of ya wallet!
can't imagine if one day, i'm driving to the hospital
and then a tyre punctures along a busy road...
and its the freagging morning rush hour...
and... it is pouring cats and dogs all round me...
i think i'll faint.
cos i don't ever wish to be caught in such a situation.
the main reason why i wanna get a car is so that before and after work,
i can go to church =P
and maybe during lunch breaks... can drive down to church
for a rosary... i know that will make me very happy.
see how lar. If God willing, of course.

Deo gratias for a good korkor and my love for singing.

2009-12-31T12:22:00.003+08:00

I'm so gonna find a good Catholic excuse to post this cos I like this video so much!

You know guys, if you have no place to go, you can always seek refuge at a 24-hr Adoration room... Just pick yourself up and make a trip down to an Adoration room where you'll find all the comforting you need from our good Lord. =P

2009-12-29T09:31:00.002+08:00

The need for good (true) friends.

I sometimes wonder to myself, why certain friends treat me the
way they do. Some are really endearing, they always seem to
give me a listening ear, and they take my rantings and emotions too.
Others, they hang out with me, they chat with me, but after that,
they totally forget about me. And still, there are those who you wonder
if they remain in your company only for the reason of not wanting
to be all alone. Cos when these people find their old friends, they never
do have time for you. Not even to chill with you over a cup of iced coffee.

I end up feeling frustrated over wondering who is a true friend and who is not.
And then I start to feel alone, except for the friendship of the saints and of
Jesus. Because, with what is divine, I guess, standards of friendship are divine
too =).

So here was I sitting several moments ago, now still in the same spot.
I was just thinking, that since I feel so much a need for good friends,
others must feel the same way too. And I wonder if I had been a good friend
to others. I really do hope so because honestly speaking, I cherish
friendships. Pardon me, if you do not agree with me, but I do try to make
friendships work. I should want to continue trying to be a good friend to all,
even if I should fail at times. Just bear with me and be patient okay?

I'm trying.

I'm trying.

I'm trying.

2009-12-25T18:27:00.003+08:00

Holy Humour by me

"You know my friend, I've got to tell you something really serious."

"Yes dear, what is it?"

"I'm in love with a guy."

"Ooo, tell me more. Tell me more!!"

"Well, he's a Middle-Eastern."
"I really, really like him. And I know he really, really likes me too."
"I wish I could marry him, like right now."

"Girl, I don't have a good feeling about this. I think you should
talk it out with your parents first. You better think it over carefully."

"Why not? Just because he's Middle-Eastern?"
"That's not very fair judgment!"

"No, I'm not racist..."
"Please, at least give me the assurance that he is a good man
then as your friend, I can feel more... yea, you know.... rest-assured."

"He is really good I can assure you."
"Many girls all round the world have always wanted to be his bride."

"Ah, he must be filthy rich."

"Not really, he didn't have a permanent house after he left home when he was 30."

"He is from the Middle-East and is not rich, I don't see what good can
come from this guy. Furthermore, he sounds too old for you my love."

"But he is the perfect man, I insist!"

"Oh my, you are making a big mistake and you're so gonna regret this!"

"Well, is Jesus not the perfect man?"

2009-12-24T18:39:00.003+08:00

Blessed Christmas in advance, to one and all! <3

2009-12-19T10:12:00.006+08:00

Dignity of the Human Person in our world today

So often we see people fighting for the cause of preserving human dignity.
The calls for pro-life ways and all those campaigns that urge people to
try to preserve laws that protect a person's rights that is due to every human being.
We go a long way in fighting for such causes and for these causes, i vouch my every ounce
of support.

But I should like to make a point here; that preservation of
the dignity of the human person must go beyond simply advocating such causes,
and giving voice to a universal kind of goodness.
We must try our very best to preserve human dignity
not only heads-on from issues that are of big scale, but also in the
hidden recesses of what we fail to see in everyday life.
Through our actions, our speech, our decisions,
we should also amass equal effort in advocating the preservation of human dignity
if that is truly what we stand for.

I live in Singapore, a small island in south-east asia located south of Malaysia.
Singapore is lovely city (country) with good amenities, proper sanitation,
a rather educated population, a good government, and has a very diverse culture.
We are so educated... so caught up in life... and now, we are what I would call,
a consumerist society. I'm afraid, many people have forgotten about
the need to preserve human dignity.

I know this will sound random, but what inspired me initially to blog this post
is my sudden realisation of how cruel people in our society could be.
Towards Ris Low I mean.
I am guilty of it too, of giving her a bad name and hanging her for it.
But since I have come to the point where some light seems to have enlightened
my mind on this ridiculous saga, I shall go on to share my views with my readers.

The media plays so much on her shortcomings to the point that
her reputation is ruined for good.
In toa payoh central, there is this monstrous-sized screen by SPH media
box office. Day in day out, they show videos on Ris Low.
Videos to demonstrate her inability to speak with caution and wit
when being interviewed on camera.
We all know she has bipolar disorder so I don't think she should be faulted for
being like this.

Look at what I found on the net concerning Bipolar disorder:

Genetic factors contribute substantially to the likelihood of developing bipolar disorder, and environmental factors are also implicated.

If it is genetic, it is really no fault of hers that she behaves funny
and does not seem to be able to conform to societal norms and expectations.

Our courts of law give criminals benefit of the doubt when they commit crimes
whilst under the affections of mental liabilities.

Should we not give her the benefit of the doubt too?

You know, I have this belief that everyone has his or her own form of eccentricity.
It is just that each person's eccentricity is of a different degree and perhaps
for most people, their eccentricities are minimal and is thus not sufficient enough to draw
attention from society.

Just because Ris Low's eccentricity seems a little more than ours (or so we think,)
that we now have the right to judge her, criticise her, and have no respect
for the person she is.

This is absolutely wrong.

Yes Ris Low, you must take these things with a pinch of salt.
May you be treated with the dignity which you deserve as a human person,
the same dignity that everyone else deserves,
of not being runned-down and humiliated by others.
We all make mistakes.

I feel that the SPH media box office owes Ris Low a sincere apology.
And those people who posted unkind remarks on the web about her should take them back too.

Let us love one another just as God loves us.

.

2009-12-12T09:37:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I tend to wonder why my life is so tough.
To the outsider, it looks simple enough, that I have everything going for me.
A school to go to, a job secured for the future, monetary sponsorship,
great friends, an intact Catholic family where everyone still fulfils their
weekly Sunday Mass obligations, and facial features that apparently, are not hideous.

But inside, I do feel barbecued.
It is exhausting work to be a Catholic.
I am trying to be a good Catholic and it is not easy.

Ministry work is crazy...
I'm driven nuts when there are things that need to be resolved,
but people have only "half-drive" in wanting to work to resolve issues.
And then, weirdos start to come into the picture.
Stalkers appear just as how zombies suddenly sit up from their coffins.
And then your heart palpitates like crazy cos you just don't feel
good about how things are.
You wish you could just karate-chop all those weirdos away.
They are seriously annoying... as though they were put there for the divine purpose
of testing my patience, and allowing me the kind of mental mortification
that could easily recompense my errs so that by divine grace, I should soon
be ready for my life in heaven!

But then again, amidst all the insanities that swamp my life,
I really can still smile.
Yes, it is amazing that I can still smile.
I can still look on the madness with composure, and be rest-assured
that nothing will ever get ridiculously out of hand that is going
to destroy the sanity and goodwill of my soul.
I boast like that not because I am confident about the person I am.
If you know me, you'll know my incompetence in the things of this world.
I can boast that my little sampan; my life, will not sink for sure
only because I am confident in the Lord's goodness.
I am confident in His forgiveness.
I am confident in His love.
And I am confident in His mercy and grace.

I shall now quote something from one of my previous reads.

Pt 35, Deus Caritas Est (God is love):

This proper way of serving others also leads to humility. The one who serves does not consider himself superior to the one served, however miserable his situation at the moment may be. Christ took the lowest place in the world-the Cross-and by this radical humility he redeemed us and constantly comes to our aid. Those who are in a position to help others will realize that in doing so they themselves receive help; being able to help others is no merit or achievement of their own. This duty is a grace. The more we do for others, the more we understand and can appropriate the words of Christ: "We are useless servants" (Lk 17:10). We recognise that we are not acting on the basis of any superiority ot greater personal efficiency, but because the Lord has graciouly enabled us to do so. There are times when the burden of need and our own limitations might tempt us to become discouraged. But precisely then we are helped by the knowledge that, in the end, we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord. It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer Him our service as long as He grants us the strength. To do all we can with what strength we have, however, is the task which keeps the good servant of Jesus Christ always at work: "The love of Christ urges us on" (2 Cor 5:14)

(On one occasion, Fr Joe said to me: You must keep composed.)
Yea... and wisdom tells us that it is when we keep our composure
that we are able to think with greater clarity and identify the
harmful affections which hamper our goodwill.

Deo Gratias for the Catholic faith as installed and sustained by the Lord Himself.

.

2009-12-07T21:26:00.002+08:00

I have a new resolve for this blog.
That whatever entry that is to follow after this one,
it has to be pleasing to God.
The content must honour His holy name and glorify Him.
Not that I am capable of pleasing, honouring, and glorifying God
at every single moment of my life.
The saints despaired those moments when they felt they
fell short of doing what would be pleasing to God, and when they fell
short of loving Him and others.
But I shall make the effort to do so.
Time is short.
I wasted too much time already.

I know one thing for sure, that it pleases God when we put effort into
trying to please Him, and trying to do His holy will, and trying to
love, just as how He wants us to.

Thus, I shall make this effort to please Him.

2009-11-29T21:42:00.006+08:00

A cause for joy.

Just 2 months or so back, things in my family were really complicated.
My parents had a huge row which resulted with them threatening to divorce
each other. And today, it is a whole different story. We now pray the rosary together.
For a second consecutive Sunday, my family got together to pray the rosary.
We've decided to pray the rosary every Sunday evening together, as a family, and
I hope that this good resolution would make good, with God's grace of course.
I find that we are more tolerant which each other, less aggressive with each others
failings, and a little more loving.

My friends, I wish you all the same joy that my family now shares.
I know that a lot of families have a good outlook... but that is all on the surface.
They try to give others the impression that they are still one, and happy... but the truth
is that they feel frustrated by each other's way of doing stuff and all.

John 17:20-24
Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said: 'I pray not only for these but also for those who through their teaching will come to believe in me. May they all be one, just as, Father, you are in me and I am in you, so that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe it was You who sent me. I have given them the glory You gave to me, that they may be one as we are one. With me in them and You in me, may they be so perfected in unity that the world will recognise that it was You who sent me and that You have loved them as You have loved me.

'Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, so that they may always see my glory which You have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.'

Deo gratias!
Mater gratias!

2009-11-22T19:16:00.001+08:00

SLUMBER

2009-11-15T22:57:00.004+08:00

I sailed away from a shore that was ladened by the force of a storm so unrelenting.
And I chased the sun that looked as if it were sinking at the horizon.
What a chase!
May I find a new shore which is my correct destination on Mother Earth.

May you know, my friend, that I never sailed alone.
I never had the guts to be that imprudent.
I always set sail with the best companion possible.
One who could navigate any sea or ocean.
One whom the tides obeyed.
One who could make a watercraft become an aircraft by just willing it.
And who is my best companion?
My Lord, of course.

2009-11-12T17:36:00.001+08:00

busy. busy. busy.

2009-10-20T10:29:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

I like nice clothes, delicious food, cool gadgets
and pretty things. But whenever I indulge in them,
I start to feel bad. Its not that kind of guilty feeling
but the kind of feeling whereby I feel sorry for myself.
Feel sorry for not having more control over the choices
I make. Always thinking about luxury. Deep down inside,
something (it seems inate) makes me want to obtain money.
The desire to one day own a car, live in a nice house with
good scenery. To one day, have a job that pays well, and
have a good position at work.

Lord, help me not to desire these things anymore.
Help me to desire only You, and nothing else.
Lord, help me to loose my passions for the things of this
world, the desire for success, the wish to be married
to a most charming guy of great eloquence.

Lord, help me to be faithful to your holy will.
Lord, help me to remain as your little baby.
As in the past, I used to worry on how things will be
like when I grow up. Whether I will remain like a baby to you,
just a little baby, lying helpless, defenseless in your arms.
I wish to be your little baby, forever. Your dear little one.
Your sweetie, your little girl, your sweetness, your darling.

The world is scary and I think my inner desires are even scarier.
So scary that I find it hard to admit that such evils
could even come from my mind.

I wish to be free, I wish to fly. I wish not to be held captive
by things as such. I wish that I can do your bidding with
perfect obdience, as perfect as you would want it to be.

I wish I could love better, I wish I were kinder.
I wish I had more daring to sing your praises aloud
even to those who dorn tudungs or burqas.
Because You, You Lord, are God of all nations and of all
peoples.

I wish my friends could see things the way I did.
I wish my friends would love the Blessed Virgin.
I wish my friends adored Your most Holy Sacred Heart.
I wish my friends knew Your love.
I wish my enemies know Your mercy.
I wish for them, that their eyes be opened,
and that they see what the people of old wanted so much
to see, and hear what they wanted so much to hear.

I wish Lord, to sanctify my work.
To sanctify my time.
To sanctify my relationships.
And in doing so, assist the people around me in sanctifying
their own lives and the lives of others in time to come.

I wish Lord, to be humble.
I wish Lord, to pray well.
I wish Lord, to be a reflection of your mercy and love.
Like a fair moon reflecting the sun's ray and illuminating
the dark night sky, just as how Our Blessed Mother is.

I wish Lord, not to desire the charisms that come by the way.
I wish Lord, I would do Your will and not my own unless,
my will conforms to Yours.
I wish Lord, not to be noticed.
I wish Lord, not to be desired by man.

I wish Lord, that I could do a beautiful dance for You.
I wish Lord, that I could sing the sweetest melody for you.
I wish Lord, that You are the only desire of my heart.

I wish Lord, to be fully reconciled with You.
I wish Lord, that I need to only give my heart to you.
I wish Lord, that I would give of myself truly to you.
I wish Lord, that my soul shall one day be united with You.
I wish Lord, to bless my enemies.
I wish Lord, to love those who hurt me.
I wish Lord, that all your beloved children, shall come home
and be united with You and in You.

Lord I beseech You Lord, in Your great mercy, assist the Holy Mother Church
and all her children. And forget all their faults and their unworthiness.
So that today, we may all start anew.
May the coming of this evening bring a close to all evil desires,
plans, and thoughts.
May the morning bring Your mercy, and may You preserve us
all with Your grace.

Lord, thank you.
Thank you for Your faithfulness to man.

How much longer shall man wish to try the patience of the Lord?

Lord, have mercy on me, a poor sinner.

Because I have not the pride to say that tomorrow onwards,
I shall not sin against you because I desire not to.
Because Lord, I know that I am weak.
Please Lord, assist me.

I love you Lord.

2009-10-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

PESCADOR DE HOMBRES.

PESCADOR DE HOMBRES.

1.- Tú has venido a la orilla,
ho has buscado ni a sabios ni a ricos,
tan sólo quieres que yo te siga.

Señor, me has mirado a los ojos,
sonriendo has dicho mi nombre,
en la arena he dejado mi barca,
junto a Ti buscaré otro mar.

2.-Tú sabes bien lo que tengo,
en mi barca no hay oro ni espadas,
tan sólo redes y mi trabajo.

3.-Tú necesitas mis manos,
mi cansancio que a otros descanse,
amor que quiera seguir amando.

4.-Tú pescador de otros lagos,
ansia eterna de almas que esperan,
amigo bueno que así me llamas.

Lord You Have Come

1.- Lord, you have come to the
seashore, neither searching for the
rich nor the wise, Desiring only
that I should follow.

O Lord, with your eyes set upon me,
gently smiling, you have spoken my
name; All I longed for I have
found by the water, at your side, I
will seek other shores.

Lord, see my goods , my
possessions; in my boat you find no
power, no wealth. Will you accept,
then, my nets and labour?

Lord, take my hands and direct
them. Helpe me spend myself in
seeking the lost, Returning love
for the love you gave me.

2009-10-04T15:44:00.013+08:00

The mooncakes I bought during the mid-autumn festival.
=D

The traditional pig in a basket for 60 cents

The not so traditional form of the pig mooncake with green tea for $3.50. (I know, thats very expensive for a mini pig. I bought it only because its cute.)

And a box of the really good stuff,
4 double egg yolk lotus paste mooncakes from tai chong kok =)
price: $27

And on the night of the festival itself,

2009-10-01T01:22:00.002+08:00

Samoa and American Samoa

Interesting videos I found while searching for the tsunami videos about the samoa islands.

2009-09-08T23:52:00.003+08:00

The holy, mighty joys of being ill

Both my parents are now ill,
down with fever and bad throat.
My dad was blaming my mom
for passing her germs to him.
He is upset that he is sick.
Yea, being sick makes one feel... well, sickly...

Do you feel sorry for yourself whenever you get sick?

Sometimes, I tend to rejoice when I find myself sick.
There was an occasion, about 2 years ago when I fell
terribly sick. With a terrible raging fever, I was almost bed-bound.
My back and joints were aching like mad and my
body was like waving a white flag and screaming, "Surrender, surrender!"
But that night, I prayed.
And I felt that Abba was holding me in His palm, very close to Himself.
and that Padre Pio was standing by my bedside as the fever raged on.
The next morning, I awoke to find that I had recovered. Almost completely, I believe.
No one would have been able to tell that just the night before, I had felt so estranged
from a body that was wrecked by the suffering that accompanies the terrible kind of fevers.

You see, when you are sick, God Who loves you so
knows of your terrible suffering, and holds you closer to Himself.
Because you are dear to Him.

And because He is dear to you too,
you rejoice in being held so close to Him.
Your joy is elevated.

Another point I must make. When you are ill, it is a privilege for your soul,
and for other souls, should you just remember to sincerely wish to enjoin your
sufferings to those of Jesus who suffered so by His cross. What marvelous
works can be achieved by a person who suffers, and bears his cross of suffering
well! And how wonderful it is, again I would emphasize, a privilege to suffer
with Christ Jesus. Suffering becomes redemptive!

Amen amen!!

Deo gratias for illness!!

2009-09-08T00:16:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday, my dear Blessed Mummy!

2009-09-03T17:08:00.005+08:00

There was one day when my dear and I were talking about crying,
and how i cry easily. Then i recounted to him one of my earliest memories
of me crying when i was a kid. I cried while watching a cartoon because one
of the mice died... at that time, my mom had gone downstairs to buy some stuff,
she came back to find me red-eyed, sitting in a pool of tears, and the cause of it was
that a cartoon mouse died. And, it is a much loved cartoon. I'm quite sure you would
have watched it too, a long time ago.

This is it: An American Tail!

A magical cartoon of old.

Somewhere Out There ~An American Tail

2009-08-20T12:53:00.004+08:00

2 Fun Facts you never knew about Mona Lisa by Clare Therese

1 Mona Lisa is Catholic (she's wearing a mantilla for goodness sake!)

2 Mona Lisa was the kind of Catholic who went to Church, not the kind of lapsed Catholic ok!! (Catholic ladies only wore mantillas to Church or to Church processions of some sort!)

You'll see, I'm right about this!

And so, all this while, millions of people around the world have paid curious attention to this picture,
but they never saw that they were paying attention to a Catholic Church-going lady who was portrayed in a very interesting manner.

Now you know it!

And now that I think of her as a Catholic woman, and if this was actually a painting of a real woman as intended by Leonardo da Vinci, isn't it nice to know that one day, you might find her in heaven, standing amongst the Saints, and perhaps, speaking to them in Italian. Or maybe if the painting of Mona Lisa really is a picture of a Catholic woman who did exist, she might be praying for your soul at this very moment from heaven...

2009-08-13T17:58:00.002+08:00

I was in the adoration room at Risen Christ today.
When there was no one else left in the adoration room,
I decided to turn off the lights and leave the one at the monstrance on.
It would be so much more romantic that way...
But it just had to happen that well, that wasn't really my day I guess;
The bulb near the monstrance blew =(
My bad...
So much for wanting to be romantic with Our Lord.
Anyway, its the thought that counts!!!
Jesus understands right? =P

2009-07-31T00:52:00.003+08:00

I can't stand it.
I got stalkers... EEKS like X100 X{

Darling has been great. I bet he's gonna read this.
I know I should be sleeping now because I have to wake early tomorrow
for morning Mass. But I feel I really have to blog something now...
just a short one.

Darling has been really sweet. A real gift from God.
I feel progress in my spiritual life.
Like how my tendencies to deviate from spiritual life,
the once unseen and uncovered loop holes in spiritual life,
they all seem to be showing now, and that God is using darling to help
me uncover these nasty loop holes which could actually become sinkholes
and create havoc in my interior and exterior life should they have been
left unnoticed and if nothing were done about these sinkholes.
And that they could be potential causes of spiritual stagnancy.
The time feels right... to fill these gaping holes,
to make the pathway run smooth for the coming of the Lord
in our day!

Matt. 25:1-13

The Parable of the Ten Bridesmaids

25‘Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom.^* ²Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. ³When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; ⁴but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. ⁵As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept. ⁶But at midnight there was a shout, “Look! Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.” ⁷Then all those bridesmaids ^* got up and trimmed their lamps. ⁸The foolish said to the wise, “Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.” ⁹But the wise replied, “No! there will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.” ¹⁰And while they went to buy it, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet; and the door was shut. ¹¹Later the other bridesmaids^* came also, saying, “Lord, lord, open to us.” ¹²But he replied, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.” ¹³Keep awake therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.^* ^*

Glory be to God Most High.

2009-07-10T13:01:00.003+08:00

Yay!! MS office is finally up on my lappy after almost 2 months!!
This feeling is so good.
Can you imagine living on read-only functions for almost 2 months?
It had rendered my laptop almost useless for doing any work except
for playing games on fb.

2009-07-01T23:37:00.006+08:00

Happy 21st to me :)

Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)
Happy 21st to me :)

my blackforest mousse cake and red rose from a special someone this year =)

my little choc tartlets/ cakes from jean and shuie last year =)

my true food and drink that has kept my whole being alive all these years =D!

Amen Amen!

Thanks, dear ones, for all the Birthday wishes, and
for being such great friends to me.
You are all God's blessings to me!

Thanks be to God Most High!

Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto,
sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper,
et in saecula, saeculorum. Amen.

2009-06-25T02:41:00.051+08:00

Muah 21st Bdae Bbq!

Jean, I wish you were there (here in S'pore)!
Let's make up for this another day.

2009-06-25T02:19:00.004+08:00

I've lost my inspiration to blog about vanity.
So lets just have a post about why women traditionally wear veils
in the Catholic Church.
Contents taken from: http://www.fisheaters.com/theveil.html

Veiling

For 2,000 years, Catholic women have veiled themselves before entering a church or any time they are in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament (e.g., during sick calls). It was written into the 1917 Code of Canon Law, Canon 1262, that women must cover their heads -- "especially when they approach the holy table" ("mulieres autem, capite cooperto et modeste vestitae, maxime cum ad mensam Dominicam accedunt") -- but during the Second Vatican Council, Bugnini (the same Freemason who designed the Novus Ordo Mass) was asked by journalists if women would still have to cover their heads. His reply, perhaps innocently enough, was that the issue was not being discussed. The journalists (as journalists are wont to do with Church teaching) took his answer as a "no," and printed their misinformation in newspapers all over the world. ¹ Since then, many, if not most, Catholic women have lost the tradition.

After so many years of many women forgetting or positively repudiating the veil, clerics, not wanting to be confrontational or upset radical feminists, pretended the issue didn't exist. When the 1983 Code of Canon Law was produced, veiling was simply not mentioned (not abrogated, mind you, but simply not mentioned). However, Canons 20-21 of the 1983 Code of Canon Law make clear that later Canon Law abrogates earlier Canon Law only when this is made explicit and that, in cases of doubt, the revocation of earlier law is not to be presumed; quite the opposite:

Canon 20 A later law abrogates or derogates from an earlier law, if it expressly so states, or if it is directly contrary to that law, or if it integrally reorders the whole subject matter of the earlier law. A universal law, however, does not derogate from a particular or from a special law, unless the law expressly provides otherwise.

Canon 21 In doubt, the revocation of a previous law is not presumed; rather, later laws are to be related to earlier ones and, as far as possible, harmonized with them.

Canons 27 and 28 add to the argument:

Canon 27 Custom is the best interpreter of laws.

Canon 28 Without prejudice to the provisions of can. 5, a custom, whether contrary to or apart from the law, is revoked by a contrary custom or law. But unless the law makes express mention of them, it does not revoke centennial or immemorial customs, nor does a universal law revoke particular customs. 2

Christian veiling is a very serious matter, one that concerns two millennia of Church Tradition -- which extends back to Old Testament tradition and to New Testament admonitions. St. Paul wrote.

1 Corinthians 11:1-17:
Be ye followers of me, as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you, brethren, that in all things you are mindful of me and keep my ordinances as I have delivered them to you. But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man: and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered disgraceth his head. But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven. For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head. The man indeed ought not to cover his head: because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man [c.f. Genesis 2-3]. For the man was not created for the woman: but the woman for the man. Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, because of the angels. But yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God. You yourselves judge. Doth it become a woman to pray unto God uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you that a man indeed, if he nourish his hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor the Church of God [i.e., if anyone want to complain about this, we have no other way of doing things, this is our practice; all the churches believe the same way]. Now this I ordain: not praising you, that you come together, not for the better, but for the worse.

According to St. Paul, we women veil ourselves as a sign that His glory, not ours, should be the focus at worship, and as a sign of our submission to authority. It is an outward sign of our recognizing headship, both of God and our husbands (or fathers, as the case may be), and a sign of our respecting the presence of the Holy Angels at the Divine Liturgy. In veiling, we reflect the divine invisible order and make it visible. This St. Paul presents clearly as an ordinance, one that is the practice of all the churches.

Some women, influenced by the thoughts of "Christian" feminists, believe that St. Paul was speaking as a man of his time, and that this ordinance no longer applies. They use the same arguments that homosexualists make in trying to prove their case. In this quote, homosexualist Rollan McCleary, who believes that Jesus was "gay," tries to show that Paul's admonitions against homosexuality were culturally conditioned:

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul writes about "men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due" (Romans 1:27).

Asked about these texts, McCleary said references in the Scriptures to homosexuality were misunderstood or taken out of context.

"In those days they didn't have kind of concept of homosexuality as an identity such as we have it," he argued. "It has much more to do with other factors in society ... homosexuality was associated with idolatrous practices."

In the case of Paul's writings, he continued, "does everybody agree with St. Paul on slavery [or] on women wearing hats? There is such a thing as historical context."

Of course we Catholics agree with St. Paul on slavery (St. Paul wasn't talking about chattel slavery, by the way), and on veiling, and on everything else! Please! But the liberal above makes a point: if Christians want to reject veiling, why not reject the other things St. Paul has to say? The traditional Catholic woman has the snappy comeback to the defiant homosexualist: "we do veil ourselves and don't disagree with St. Paul!" But what leg do the uncovered women have to stand on? And what other Scriptural admonitions can they disregard on a whim -- or because of following the bad example of a generation of foolish or misled Catholic women who disregarded them?

Now, I ask my readers to re-read the Biblical passage about veiling and note well that St. Paul was never intimidated about breaking unnecessary taboos. It was he who emphasized over and over again that circumcision and the entire Mosaic Law were not necessary -- and this as he was speaking to Hebrew Christians! No, the tradition and ordinance of veiling is not a matter of Paul being influenced by his culture; it is a symbol that is as relevant as the priest's cassock and the nun's habit.

Note, too, that Paul is in no way being "misogynist" here. He assures us that, while woman is made for the glory of the man even as man is made for the glory of God, "yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God." Men need women, women need men. But we have different roles, each equal in dignity -- and all for the glory of God (and, of course, we are to treat each other absolutely equally in the order of charity!).The veil is a sign of our recognizing these differences in roles.

The veil, too, is a sign of modesty and chastity. In Old Testament times, uncovering a woman's head was seen as a way to humiliate a woman or to punish adultresses and those women who transgressed the Law (e.g.., Numbers 5:12-18, Isaias 3:16-17, Song of Solomon 5:7). A Hebrew woman wouldn't have dreamed of entering the Temple (or later, the synagogue) without covering her head. This practice is simply carried on by the Church (as it is also by Orthodox Christians and even by "Orthodox" women of the post-Temple Jewish religion today).

That which is Veiled is a Holy Vessel

Note what Paul says, "But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering." We don't veil ourselves because of some "primordial" sense of femine shame; we are covering our glory so that He may be glorified instead. We cover ourselves because we are holy -- and because feminine beauty is incredibly powerful. If you don't believe me, consider how the image of "woman" is used to sell everything from shampoo to used cars. We women need to understand the power of the feminine and act accordingly by following the rules of modest attire, including the use of the veil.

By surrendering our glory to the headship of our husbands and to God, we surrender to them in the same way that the Blessed Virgin surrendered herself to the Holy Ghost ("Be it done to me according to Thy will!"); the veil is a sign as powerful -- and beautiful -- as when a man bends on one knee to ask his girl to marry him.

Now, think of what else was veiled in the Old Testament -- the Holy of Holies!

Hebrews 9:1-8
The former [Old Covenant] indeed had also justifications of divine service and a sanctuary. For there was a tabernacle made the first, wherein were the candlesticks and the table and the setting forth of loaves, which is called the Holy. And after the second veil, the tabernacle which is called the Holy of Holies: Having a golden censer and the ark of the testament covered about on every part with gold, in which was a golden pot that had manna and the rod of Aaron that had blossomed and the tables of the testament. And over it were the cherubims of glory overshadowing the propitiatory: of which it is not needful to speak now particularly. Now these things being thus ordered, into the first tabernacle, the priests indeed always entered, accomplishing the offices of sacrifices. But into the second, the high priest alone, once a year: not without blood, which he offereth for his own and the people's ignorance: The Holy Ghost signifying this: That the way into the Holies was not yet made manifest, whilst the former tabernacle was yet standing.

...The Ark of the Old Covenant was kept in the veiled Holy of Holies. And at Mass, what is kept veiled until the Offertory? The Chalice -- the vessel that holds the Precious Blood! And, between Masses, what is veiled? The Ciborium in the Tabernacle, the vessel which holds the very Body of Christ. These vessels of life are veiled because they are holy!

And who is veiled? Who is the All Holy, the Ark of the New Covenant, the Vessel of the True Life? Our Lady -- and by wearing the veil, we imitate her and affirm ourselves as women, as vessels of life.

This one superficially small act is:

so rich with symbolism: of submission to authority; of surrender to God; of the imitation of Our Lady as a woman who uttered her "fiat!"; of covering our glory for His glory; of modesty; of chastity, of our being vessels of life like the Chalice, the Ciborium and, most especially, Our Lady;
an Apostolic ordinance -- with roots deep in the Old Testament -- and, therefore, a matter of intrinsic Tradition;
the way Catholic women have worshipped for two millennia (i.e., even if it weren't a matter of Sacred Tradition in the intrinsic sense, it is, at the least, a matter of ecclesiastical tradition, which also must be upheld). It is our heritage, a part of Catholic culture;
pragmatic: it leaves one free to worry less about "bad hair days";
and for the rebels out there, it is counter-cultural nowadays, you must admit!

The question I'd like answered is, "Why would any Catholic woman not want to veil herself?"

Veiling Options for Women and Girls

There are various options here for women:

the classic Catholic lace mantillas
lace chapel caps (this is for young girls)
oblong gauzy or cotton scarves worn over the head and over one or both shoulders, or tied in various ways (see this page for information on various ways of tying scarf-type headcoverings (offsite, will open in new browser window)
standard-sized square chiffon or cotton scarves folded into a triangle and worn tied under the chin in the Jackie-O style or tied behind the head in the peasant style, etc.
large square scarves worn "babushka" style (fold large 36" square scarf into a triangle and place over head with the "tail" side hanging down in back. Then turn back the pointy ends behind the head and tie into a bow or make a knot over the "tail")
shawls worn over the head
elegant but simple hats (cloches, toques, berets, "Lady Diana" hats, etc.)

Traditionally, single women wear white or ivory headcoverings, and married or widowed women wear black, but this isn't a hard and fast rule, and is often ignored.

Finding or Making Head Coverings

Places to buy headcoverings (links will open in new browser window):

Headcoverings by Devorah
Immaculate Heart Mantillas classic lace mantillas, chapel veils, etc.
Halo Works classic mantillas
Vermont Country Store classic, "retro" solid-color square chiffon scarves
Modest World various types of scarves
Desert Boutique inexpensive, long scarves in many different colors
Headcovers Unlimited scarves and hats
Berets

You can also buy very inexpensive -- less than $4.00 each -- undyed 11X60 rayon scarves to dye any color here: Undyed Scarves (will open in new browser window). For dyeing, I used plain old RIT Dye. Be sure to wash separately; colors can bleed! Idea: embroider edges (all the way around, or just the short edges) for something unique to you.

It might be a good idea to have an extra head covering or two for women guests who might accompany you to the "Tridentine" Mass but who are new to Tradition (men should remember this, too, if they invite a woman to Mass. It could be embarrassing for her if she is the only one who is not veiled, and there is the chance that at some chapels or parishes, she could be refused the Eucharist. The safest bets, I am guessing, are the longer lacy veils or oblong scarves; a lot of women I know believe they look silly in the shorter veils or caps. And, hey, don't forget to tell her how beautiful she looks !).

It's always a good idea, too, to keep a veil or scarf in your purse and/or glovebox so that you can run into a church any time for prayer.

Sisters, veil yourselves, even if you are visiting a Novus Ordo parish and are the only woman to do so. Be true to Tradition, to Scripture, to your own desire to submit to God. Be not afraid... And lovingly encourage other women to do the same, teaching them what veiling means.

I've asked Catholics, both male and female, from various Catholic e-mail lists I am on what they think of veiling. Want to read their thoughts?

Footnote2:

¹See this pdf file of the original AP article in the Los Angeles Times.

² A similar sort of situation can be seen with regard to canon law and Freemasonry. The relevant canons, first from the 1917 Code of Canon Law, my emphasis:

Can 2335. Nomen dantes sectae massonicae aliisve eiusdem generis associationibus quae contra Ecclesiam vel legitimas civiles potestates machinantur, contrahunt ipso facto excommunicationem Sedi Apostolicae simpliciter reservatam. (those who join a Masonic sect, or other societies of the same sort, plot against the church or against legitimate civil authority, incur excommunication").

and from the 1983 Code, which omits mention of Freemasonry itself:

Can. 1374 A person who joins an association which plots against the Church is to be punished with a just penalty; however, a person who promotes or directs an association of this kind is to be punished with an interdict.

Because the new Code of Canon Law dropped mention of Freemasonry, many people, including clerics, assumed that it was now okay for Catholics to become Masons. To clear up the confusion, the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued a statement which can be found on the Vatican's website here. The relevant text reads, my emphasis:

It has been asked whether there has been any change in the Church’s decision in regard to Masonic associations since the new Code of Canon Law does not mention them expressly, unlike the previous code.

This sacred congregation is in a position to reply that this circumstance is due to an editorial criterion which was followed also in the case of other associations likewise unmentioned inasmuch as they are contained in wider categories.

Therefore, the Church’s negative judgment in regard to Masonic associations remains unchanged since their principles have always been considered irreconcilable with the doctrine of the Church and, therefore, membership in them remains forbidden. The faithful, who enroll in Masonic associations are in a state of grave sin and may not receive Holy Communion. "

2009-06-09T00:36:00.003+08:00

I'm so gonna blog about vanity. I am one of the fortunate girls to have such a terrible struggle with vanity. Yes, I am fortunate to even struggle against it and not get so blindly enchanted by its attractions. The next blog post is dedicated to all those girls who want so much to walk the path of Christ and yet seem to wage wars too often with this strange outward projection of self-worth called vanity. Whatever dreadful outcomes or victorious battles we've had with vanity, let us still take this as an opportunity to reflect on our lives, our inner desires, our choices, and our hopes to glorify and please God through the way we live our lives.

2009-06-05T23:23:00.004+08:00

I've just done a week of clinicals at SGH.
One week more to go...
In the week that just passed, I was posted to general X-rays
for 3 days followed by a day each at MRI and CT.
CT is mad fun... the people in MRI and CT are super nice
and enthusiastic. They mostly seem to be the kind of highly motivated
people who have a good sense of fun.
So today... I was supposed to just observe the CT cases
but since I persuaded a radiographer so persistently,
she gave in to me and allowed me to play a little with their
image processing part. And so I had a go at VRT. (Volume Rendering Technique)
It was pretty much like 3D picture editing, cropping here and there
to get a nice image. Being new to this, the radiographer
only let me touch the easy bits so I wouldn't destroy the
pretty heart that she had scanned.

CLICK FOR IMAGES

2009-05-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

Today's the deadline and 28 persons have not RSVPed to my event yet!!!

2009-05-28T18:39:00.015+08:00

So much for H1N1 and PPE garments...

Killing boredom with my acer one webcam...

and finally... i gave in to boredom...

Before lunch, i had another go at whacky PPE photos ;)

2009-05-27T12:22:00.000+08:00

Found this comic on NDC webby by Dr Andrew Tay.

2009-05-26T09:02:00.002+08:00

Hehe!! I'm blogging from NDC!!
=P
Its so slacked here.
Even fell asleep yesterday whilst trying to read some notes
on dental radiography. Lunch here is an hour and a half long,
compared to elsewhere where lunch is only an hour long.
Its kinda boring just sitting around and observing the radiographers
and radiographic assistants do most of the work since we
are to learn to operate only 2 machines and not touch the rest.
Also, we weren't really allowed to touch those 2 machines
on the first day of our clinicals here as we knew almost nothing
about dental x-ray machines prior to coming to NDC.

And so, I'm gonna bet that we'll be spending day two just as
we spent day one... sitting around.

2009-05-13T22:58:00.001+08:00

I'm so busy I might just drop dead some day soon!
Rarr!!

Updates about me

The things I would very much like to do:

-Visit At least 3 Junior praesidiums.

-start a charity breakfast program

-have time to mug hard

-sit in church on a quiet afternoon and stone in front of the tabernacle

-pray more rosaries

-read the bible more and finish up my tonne of spiritual reads
hidden in the cupboard.

-set up a blog for the legionaries in jr curia and post up spiritual reads
for them weekly.

I wish I were a better curia officer, I sincerely do.
I wish I were a better sponsor to my catechumen too.
I wish I could hang out with my own brother more.
I wish I would spend less money on frivolous things.
I wish I gave in less to my cravings for fast food.

I just bought a foldable bicycle.
I just went for a hair cut and my hair is short enough
for me to be a nun.
I had dinner Sheryl Leong today. She'll be leaving Singapore on the 24th!
I threw away my favourite pair of flats because there
is a gaping hole at the back of each side and the rubber is so worn out
it cannot be salvaged.
I must get the bbq invites list out by this friday!!
I need to study for 2 tests. One's tomorrow the other is on Friday.
I need to prepare for an RCIA home session which is tomorrow
since I'll be facilitating it.
On Friday, I'll have school, clinical briefing, nyp legion meeting,
and a Pope Benedict XVI study circle to go for.
This Saturday, I'll be going to serangoon then to pasir panjang
and then back to toa payoh.
Come Sunday, I'll have to be at Church of the Holy Spirit and spend my
morning there.

Next week I'll be at Mt Alvernia Hospital to do my clinicals.
The week after, you can look me up at National Dental Center.
After that, I'll be at SGH for 2 whole long weeks!

I'm so crazily busy!

But I must say that I certainly look forward to next week cos I
can finally spend my breaks and lunch time in front of the Holy Eucharist in
the chapel at Mt Alvernia!! I haven't done that for ages... Like since
CJC days!! What bliss that would be! A splendid rapture for the tired soul.

Time with God = Time of Love, wonder, awe, repose, refreshment, unexplainable joy.

In whatever you do, and wherever you are,
always know one thing, treasure in you heart
the knowing that God loves you, very very much.

that knowing, that God loves me very very much, that God loves
others very very much too has miraculous effects on my life.
it keeps me from sin, it makes me want to break away from my sinful
ways. it seems to resolve problems which weren't meant to exist,
and even problems that persist to exist fade away like they never did matter.

God is Love. Amen.

2009-05-04T23:14:00.004+08:00

Vocation Sunday, 03 May 09

This year, I spent Vocation Sunday a little more meaningfully.
Through the years I have spent all(almost all) Sundays
well, in great endeavour to spend it in Church by being present
at Mass.
(And nothing beats the Mass which is the Greatest feast of heaven
and earth to which our Lord invites us to)
I'd say I spent Vocation Sunday more meaningfully this
year because I attended a vocation dialogue thingy organised
by the Canossian sisters.
It was supposed to be a Q&A thing where curious young people
gather to ask the Canossian sisters questions related to vocation
over a pleasant cup of hot coffee or tea.
It turned out a little differently from what I was expecting
but nonetheless, it was good.

The surprising thing was that I met other young girls there,
around my age who were interested in discering religious life,
and that they came from Nanyang Polytechnic!! To add to that,
those 2 other girls were also from the School of Health Sciences
but they were from other allied health courses. I always felt
that polytechnic students were too overly caught up in the
materialistic world and gave their spiritual lives little thought.

Sidetrack a bit...
When I first entered Nanyang poly, I felt totally out of place and the school seemed so horribly secular. (I had spent 12 years of my life attending Catholic schools) And so I found solace in gazing at the crucifix that hung on the legion of Mary cca board found outside the fast food canteen. Going to school was like walking into a cell of solitude. I had loved my jc so because they had a little prayer room where I could always seek Our Lord during my breaks and recess times.

At NYP... no chapel... no prayer room... no bible verses hanging around the campus... no quotes from saints... no sight of any catholic religious around... and there were Catholics who to me, appeared unenthusiastic about their faith in God. And so, joining the Legion of Mary in NYP as an extension worker seemed like a tough mortification. (I enjoy working with God-crazy people) But no... those joys seemed so little...

I was always afraid for the survival of the Legion of Mary there. The numbers were so few. Committed individuals were so hard to come by. Tried to push for Catholic events to be organised... (so far there were 2 Masses and 1 talk) that the LOM organised... and for the 1st talk and 1st Mass, hardly anyone turned up. Its hard not to feel some sense of disappointment but to keep trying. We prayed and we laboured, but not in vain! God seemed to have granted success to the work of our hands.

During club crawl(recruitment), we were so short-handed. Other ccas had manpower, they had funds, they had support, they seemed to have a lot to offer. The Legion of Mary booth was sometimes left without anyone to tend to it since our members had lessons to attend, clinicals to go for... But, prayer... prayer in humility to God seemed like the only answer and it is the Catholic way to overcoming the worst obstacles, as proven helpful by the many saints and holy people over centuries. And so, the piece of Catholic treasure in the armory (the Holy Rosary!) was brought in and was put to use. Slowly but steadily, people trickled to the only Catholic booth in the whole polytechnic. By the end of the first day, we had 12 people. 12 doesn't seem like a big number to most people. But to Catholics, we know that 12 is a precious number. the no. 12 represents the 12 tribes of Israel, it represents the church since there were 12 apostles. 12. How beautiful!

On the second day of club crawl, another 8 people signed up and thus the total no. of people had risen to 20. What is 20 people to a cca like ballroom dancing. It probably means nothing to them... but God doesn't care about big no.s David really got kicked in the butt for taking pride in the size of "his" army. God doesn't care about no.s... But if the Legion of Mary in the school could just reach out to these 20 young people, and journey with them in faith, I would say it is a wonderful thing. A great, big blessing and nothing less than that.

And so, through the grace of God, the catholic student bodies in ngee ann poly, singapore poly and nanyang poly together with nus and ntu and smu have been in contact with each other, and have shown support for each others activities. When there was the Inter-poly Easter fiesta, nus catholics actually came down to show their support. Fr Stanislaus came too :)! And during the last campus Mass, catholics from nus, ntu, smu, np, and sp attended it. It was really sweet of all of them to come.

I give thanks to God for allowing our Bishop the wisdom to put a priest to chaplain the tertiary institutions. Things seem smoother in terms of organisation and support for the Catholic bodies in these schools. And... Fr. Alex Chua has been a wonderful S.D. to us all.

And so... through the lifting up of Our Lord in the Eucharist each time
Mass was said on campus, graces have flowed so abundantly that it is
hard to describe how joyful I am about it. Just awed by God's goodness!!

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Back to Vocation Sunday, it is wonderful to see so many young ladies desiring to find out more about vocation. The harvest is rich, but the labourers are few. Thank you Lord for renewing our strength, and for bringing refreshment to our poor souls.

I also thank the Lord for these nuns who He has made present to us to share with us His Love which they have found and treasured.

The kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. ~Mt 13:44

Happy 4th week of Eastertide to one and all!

2009-04-27T01:24:00.003+08:00

Fun at the Pasar Malam!!
Photography by Aloysius Wong